We've all been taught some version of assertiveness. But most of us don't really know what we're supposed to assert ourselves, or how to properly express our needs and desires in a respectful way.
That's why I want to share some tips that will help you develop your own assertive style.
STEP 1: Understand Yourself, and Who You Want to Be
In order to become more assertive, first you need to learn what type of person you are. This might seem like a daunting task, but when you break it down, it's actually quite simple.
You are either an assertive or a submissive person. An assertive person believes they are right and isn't afraid to express their beliefs and opinions. A submissive person does what the majority of others tell them to do.
Most people are somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. That's okay, but most people don't feel comfortable or capable of being both simultaneously.
If you're looking for tips that will help you become more assertive, then you're probably going to have to figure out your assertive personality type. To do this, ask yourself a few questions, and answer honestly.
STEP 2: Get Over Yourself
A big part of being assertive is self-confidence. A confident person knows his or her strengths and weaknesses, and is comfortable enough to express them in a positive manner.
To build your self-confidence, you first need to get over your personal feelings about things. Some people believe they are naturally assertive, while others struggle. If you're struggling with assertiveness, it's important to realize that your thoughts about yourself have a large impact on your emotions and behavior.
To overcome this negative mindset, you need to take a hard look at yourself and your history.
STEP 3: Express Yourself and Don't Worry About Who Is Listening
Assertiveness isn't about getting your way all the time. In fact, it's usually better to accept that you will not get your way every time, and instead, choose to speak up when you truly believe that you are right.
To make this easier, you need to learn how to communicate in a way that people can understand. A lot of times, people assume they are right, and that is why they are expressing their own views.
So the first thing you need to do is learn to listen. By listening to others, they'll eventually start speaking to you.
This is a very important skill to develop if you want to be more assertive, because if you don't express yourself, you are essentially being submissive and letting someone else make all the decisions for you.
STEP 4: Be Honest With Your Beliefs, and Let Others Make Their Own Decisions
Your goal is to get what you want in life, which includes financial security, friends, and a healthy relationship with the opposite sex. All of these things require you to make a conscious decision.
This decision-making process includes deciding what to say