I’ve been fighting with myself to write lately. At least outside of homework that is. We have all fallen into new routines and out of old one.
To me it seems like everyone has so much more to worry about then some poem, short story, article or essay. They have kids to teach, food to buy, work to do and a virus to worry about. Why would they want to take time out of their busy day to read some trivial-college-student-no-degree-writer. I really wanted to shove all of my writing away until this whole pandemic thing is over.
It makes me feel selfish in an odd way, even though this is currently my only form of income, though it is meager it is still a small bit of money. That doesn’t change the fact that it still makes me feel selfish. It a time when everything is crazy and no one knows what is going to happen next, whenever I post a new article or essay, it is as if am saying “Hey! I know you all have a lot going on and are stressing but look at this thing that I did!”
I have never been one to draw attention to myself, I never liked attention.
I wanted to hide away like a turtle and draw back into my shell where everything is safe. I like safe. I like normal and now this is my new normal for the foreseeable future.
Then I realized that we are in isolation (at least most of us are in isolation) and without books, art, television, puzzles to keep us occupied during this time then we would all lose our minds. We are already half-insane with women shaving their heads and men doing whatever it is that men do when they go stir-crazy. They work on house stuff probably, I do not really know.
Art—all forms—is what keeps us sane when insanity threatens to pull us under. It gives our brain something to focus on.
I am proud of what I write and I work hard on it. It is something that I put my heart into and something that I do when I should be studying, before I go to bed thinking of what I want to write about when I wake up.
So if I am proud of something that I worked so hard on and what to share it with the world, I am going to and they can decide if they want to take the time to read it. You should not hide away your art, especially if you worked hard on it, especially if you put your heart and soul into it.
If there is anything that can take someone’s mind off of the chaotic months to come then it is going to be art and friends and family. It is going to be things that bring us comfort and keep us sane. I don’t plan to stop writing during the pandemic, I might slow down do to stress and homework and piles of papers that are due, but I won’t stop.
This is one of the few things that makes me genuinely happy and that I hope makes others happy too. Or at the very least distracts them for children running around when they should be doing schoolwork and stressing about what to cook for dinner tonight or the next week. Then I’ll be happy even trying to get through this whole pandemic.
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