Have you ever had a day where it seemed you just could not get started? The alarm goes off and yet there you lie; unwilling to take what seems like the enormous step of getting out of bed. I have certainly been there asking myself.. what's this about? So, I decided to do some research and self-exploration and came to this conclusion that I want to share with you in hopes that it helps you shift your perspective on motivation.
There are many myths around motivation or the lack thereof.
Let's start with a few of common questions:
How do I motivate myself?
How do I get motivation?
Why am I not motivated?
The Myth: The false underlying premise in these questions is that motivation is missing or you have to do something special to get motivation. In fact, you might believe that some people are blessed with the internal fountain of motivation that flows within them.
The Truth: The reality is you already have all the motivation you need. Motivation is an endless renewable resource that exists in you. It does not run out, it cannot be taken from you, and one person does not get more than the other.
The Myth: Lack of motivation is the problem. It is the cause of not getting things done.
The Truth: Lack of motivation is the symptom. It requires a deeper understanding of self-awareness to find the true cause of not getting it done.
Think about that for a minute. Your next question might be that if you already have all of the motivation you need, what is the problem? The answer lies in your emotional intelligence (EQ). How are your EQ scores in the areas of self-awareness and self-management because these two areas are driving your motivation? While I do not know the specific answer to this question for you, I would venture a guess that the problem may be that you are unconsciously making the choice of how and when to apply motivation.
Example #1: Each day you get up and play video games. Your friends and family say you lack motivation. In reality, you are showing a tremendous amount of motivation but you are showing the motivation in your desire to play videos and not in the areas others have decided are more important.
Example #2: You go to work each day. It is rare that you miss work because you understand 1) the return you get from going to work and 2) the importance of your role in the work you do. You are motivated to go to work.
Real Talk: Instead of having a lack of motivation, consider that you are selectively applying your motivation. That could be perfectly okay. It really depends on you and what you decide is important. Emotional intelligence is about being self-aware and that includes being honest with yourself about what you really want versus what you say you want.
It is important that we begin applying motivation situationally. As the example above show, no one is always "unmotivated" just as no one is always "motivated". Compartmentalizing when you are motivated versus not allows you to better understand what is contributing to your lack of motivation.
So how can you help clear up the noise around motivation? Evaluate the three key areas below and you may find that you simply need to adjust where you engage your motivation energy.
Three (3) Easy Steps for Understanding & Managing Motivation (CUF):
#1 - Clarity- What task or area of your life requires motivation? More importantly why is this important? What will be the impact for you? How will it impact others? Anytime you find yourself feeling unmotivated, clarify the purpose of this task. Is it for you or is it being done to satisfy others? Get clear on the purpose and benefits of why this specific task or area is important. This "why" becomes the fuel in your tank. It helps keep you focused and picks you up when you are ready to fall. Your "why" is the driving reason for completing this task so make it good! If you find this is not really something you want to do, that requires a different conversation with those holding you to these expectations.
#2 - Urgency- When do you want to do it? Is it important that you do this in the next 2 weeks, in the next 2 years or in the next 10 years. Be really clear about this part. In order to generate a compelling drive for change, you must have a sense of urgency or human nature will take over and we will continue to do what we always do. After all, what's the hurry? This is the theory behind the 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. You create the urgency for change and then do not allow yourself the time to create excuses and back out. 5-4-3-2-1... do it!
#3 - Focus- Now that you understand the what and the when, now comes the how. The way to begin moving yourself is by shifting your focus. Simply put, you get what you focus on. If you want to do something, simply focus on it. Move it to the top of your priority list. Think about it actively, start planning for it, begin doing it, do not allow yourself to get distracted from it, and check it daily. Additionally, it must somehow fit into your routine. If not, it will feel like fitting a square peg in a round hole... it just will not work. Finally, create accountability systems and partners so you cannot let yourself off the hook. If this is truly a priority for you, make the time and space in your life, embrace the positive, and get it done.
There are hundreds of other strategies I could list here. However, I believe in keeping things simple because it is sometimes the smallest actions that create extraordinary results.
As you move forward, always remember... you do not have a lack of motivation, you may only lack the application of it.
Until next time, all the best with living your most amazing life!