Small Exam, Million Goodness

in motivation •  7 years ago  (edited)

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That afternoon, I watched the rain pouring down my bedroom window. I reflect and fantasize, or it may be called making a request. "Lord, is it that tomorrow I can still see the rain, can I still enjoy your unbearable beauty? Am I so sinful that you send me a disease that slowly kills me, I do not even know God what my mistake is, so you send me a disease that invites a million worries. I'm afraid I can not tread my feet on this earth anymore, worry about the mistakes I have not repaired, worried about how the feelings of my loved ones when I go ?, I sincerely God you take my life forever, but cultivate it to my father, my mother, my beloved brother and nesha my best friend keikhlasan also when my loss. I can not see them sad and vulnerable. Because it will make me weaker, my God. My tears went unnoticed with the rain that afternoon. I immediately finished my grief, I realized I can not shut up and cry, because I'm a strong woman.

My name is fatarani, but people just call me Tata. I'm a 16-year-old girl who was sentenced by a doctor to leukemia. Leukemia (blood cancer) is a type of cancer that attacks white blood cells produced by the bone marrow. white blood cells do not respond to a given signal. Eventually uncontrolled (abnormal) excess production goes out of the bone marrow and can be found in peripheral blood or peripheral blood.

Exactly 9 months ago, the doctor said that my age would not last more than 1 year due to suffering from chronic leukemia disease. I who did not think in my body could be attacked by the disease, crying in the lap of my mother who also cried over the fact that happened to her little girl. I feel a year so fast passed, I feel more and more God will soon take my life. Every day I do just sit pensive on a park bench not far from my house while writing my outpouring of heart and all what I feel.

hi "a guy called me short. I was a little surprised and I saw him a little hesitant to approach me. He is a guy who often skates in the park. It's been a long time since we met, but only this time he greeted me.
"Tata? I'm ferdian, live in block M. "
I just smiled. he just sat next to me and said nothing else. I was just silent did not say.

After a while, he would leave, but I held him back by starting to talk to him.
"You are very good at wheels, cool loh" praise me
"really? I really like to skate, from small I can not get out of skates.
"May dong, I diajarin"
"May, uh, but it looks like you're sick, really pucet?"
I was silent and there was a sadness in my face.
"You must be sick? if sick rest at home aja. "
I just quietly and slowly land my tears falling in my lap, ferdian who realize it is getting confused and freaked out.
"Come on .. do not cry, let me go back to you"
"No need, I just want to spend my time here in this park."
"you mean?"

I told him everything about ferdian, about my illness, and the rest of my life. I saw him shed a tear, but quickly quickly hid from me.
"Ta, that means god dear to you. why does not God want you to suffer in the world long enough and God wants to test how strong you are fighting the disease? "
"But fer, this curse is not a test. I do not know what my fault is until God sends me this terrible disease "I cried even more.
"If you're strong, show me that you're a tough woman who does not make illness a disaster, but as experience and knowledge for the people around you. In order for them to know and be grateful for what they have gained. I know Ta, you are good and strong. "

I understand and deepen that what is said ferdian is right, I should be grateful and change the test to be good for others.

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