Sometimes, I just want to walk into a forrest and never came back. Seconds later I ask myself "then what? what's the point?".
As a child, I remember one day start craying because I realize how life works. I went to my parents and told them "I don't wanna get old". I can't remember their answer, maybe they didn't say anything. What are you supposed to respond to something like this? Even now as an adult, I'm not able to answer. At least, not to a kid.
I grow up faster than others. Life gave me many challenges I didn't have to live at that age. Responsabilities a child/teenager shouldn't have. That's where my sense of life starts change.
In college If I wanted to go out with friends or my girlfriend I had to work, earn my own money, pay whatever I wanted. Look, don't give me wrong, but I can't remember one day of peace and tranquility. I really wanted a rest from life.
Years later I was convinced to star my own business, and I did. Right now I work for a company and running my own business at the same time. Life is great in terms of money, professionaly, but still, I'm enterily happy. I feel tired 99% of the time. I'm close to be my own boss, just doing my stuff.
I live with my girlfriend, have no problems with her. I have a lot of pets, I work for them. I'm not working for me. I am not a person who buys expensive things or things I don't need. My priorities are: house expenses, whatever my girlfriend wants, pets and at the end, me.
One last point, I am introvert. So, I don't go out to often, I'm happy in my house. The real problem are people.
So, after some years I change my mind. I don't want to disappear from the face of eart, just from people. I can run my business far from society, the only two things I need are internet connection and electricity. My goal in life is running an animal shelter/farm really far away from cities and provide to my family everything they need.
Why I am telling you this? Because you need a sense of life, deeply know you, ask what do you want for life. There are a lot of ways to solve problems. Start working in your goals. If you don't feel happy, search what does. Life is not about being enterily happy as they told you, happiness is relative to you, just find that amount, the way you feel good, great and replicate. Find what makes you happy and do it every day. If you can live from that, great! If not just do it as hobby and try to earn some money doing it.
My friend, life is not as movies, books, everyone try to sell to us. Life is how ever you make it.