Good intentions.

I do not want to sum up the year, with the calculations I am not good  and I fear that if I make a budget I go heavily in the garage, so I get  back to the new year and one of my favorite things: the lists.

I take this late to congratulate you, that there are always good wishes, for what I do not know, but they do well for sure! Like vitamins.

Good intentions, I want to talk to you about them today. These abstract and sweet purposes appear every first of the year  and then are promptly disregarded until the following year.

The good intentions I imagine them as characters, a sort of magi in line with a good thing to do.

Do you say I suffer from fervid imagination?

Maybe you're right.

My three great intentions of this new year are very simple but at the  same time very complicated (This is one of those cryptic phrases that  means everything and nothing)

Here they are :

LOVE MYSELF: To say it seems simple, a walk, but between saying and doing there is the middle of the sea. Love me it will not be a simple task since most of the day I would take slaps to myself and do not fill me with consoling caresses. Since  I am more often criticizing myself that to adulate me I will have to  change this harmful habit and occasionally give it a compliment, a nice  "Good prank!" does not fall into the category, understood brain?

 I  have to stop insulting myself, getting myself trampled, apologizing and  whipping my subtle self-esteem every day, in fact I have to feed her  like my grandmother with me at Christmas, in abundance, all the time,  until almost bursting! Stop crumbling and looking at that mirror cabbage without disgust, sadness and dark circles from sleepless nights for thoughts. It will take time but I want to love this year, hug me, hold me tight and do not let me go.

I WANT TO LEAVE: Oh yes, I want to take back myself but let the rest go. I  will have to learn the subtle art of defusing, of abandoning the  useless, which for a serial accumulator of objects, memories and  emotions like me will not be simple. Let  go of the past that holds me back and blocks me, what has been no  longer and I will have to learn to accept it in this new year, in life  there is no rewind key and therefore we can only go ahead. 

Let  go also what I was to become better, away the fears, the feelings of  guilt, all those "I could, I had to, would have gone, if I had .." just  cry on the poured milk. Next year I want to let go of the bad and let me go to the beautiful.

KNOW MYSELF: And here one could say "But how do you not know yourself ?" . True, I attend 24 hours 24 with myself, but as everyone says, you never really know a person and here I myself know little. How many times I spoke face to face and asked what the hell I really wanted. How  many times have I avoided facing me preferring that it was life to  bring me, never take the helm, making me carry by the waves, convinced  that so much in the end I swooped in all that sway, thinking small and  without power, moreover life goes without it? Maybe not, maybe just understand what I want and take that rudder and  turn it straight to the goal, maybe some eddy beak the same but in the  meantime I'm going to a specific place, no longer to the fray.

Here these are my good intentions for the new year and I wish to engage in all three.