The African Goddess - Heading North

He-Man was lying in bed thinking he was going to die. The African Goddess was sitting beside him crying.

"I'm so sorry" she said, sobbing away.

Cough, cough "No, no" cough, cough "It's not your fault" he said. "I know some say it was you who brought this man flu into this world" cough "but I know it can't be. You're not a man." He-Man tried to pull off a smile but immediately started feeling sorry for himself again.

The African Goddess coughed "What can I do?" she asked of He-Man.

"I have taught you everything I can" cough. "It is up to you now to help the others in our fight against evil." He-Man slowly propped himself up on his pillows. "I have a gift for you" he said. "There, in that box with the holes in."

"What is it?" asked the African Goddess.

"Just go and open it up you silly, pretty, beautiful little thing" said He-Man with a smirk on his face. The African Goddess retrieved the box and when she opened it she could not contain her excitement!

"It's beautiful!" she exclaimed "This is the best gift ever! What is it?"

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Cough "This is Lord-Key. Your companion." He-Man started coughing incessantly. "To keep you company on your travels."

"Thank you He-Man" exclaimed the African Goddess, cough. "It's beautiful"

"There is one more thing" cough "I need to teach you." "In order to summon your great power you must say the following:"

"By the power of Greyskull..."

At that moment Beerman came stumbling through the door and knocked He-Man's precious chest plate off the table.

"For f@ck$ sake!! You ass!!" said He-Man throwing his arms up in the air.

Beerman took a nice big swig of his malt, wiped his mouth and belched out loudly "Brrrrwaaaaarrwwpp" The African Goddess giggled. "What's wrong with you man?" Beerman asked of He-Man.

"Ugh, nooo! I thought you would have been knocked over by a car already" said He-Man. "How the heck did you find the portal?"

Beerman ignored He-Man's question or was too drunk to register it as such. "Man flu huh" stated Beerman. "I've got just the right beer to sort you out."

"Dude, just hold on" cough, cough "I'm still busy here" said He-Man. "African Goddess, you must head north. Here is a map."

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The African Goddess could hardly read english but she liked the pictures. "Thank you He-Man" she said "but I can't leave you."

"I'm affraid you must" cough, cough "If I die I will die in peace knowing I have done all I could" cough "Now go!" He-Man demanded.

The African Goddess went storming out, tears running down her pretty little face. Even her tears looked like little drops of magic. Standing at the steps of Castle Greyskull she pulled out the map. She remembered He-Man told her to head north so she tried to read it through her tear filled eyes.

"Et.. Eter... Eterni- a."

"Haibo!" she said in her native language.

Loosely translated as "Oh no or No!"

With Lord-Key in tow she decided to head towards the pretty trees on the picture.

It wasn't too long before she had reached the Vile Marsh. She saw these little people there that were the same size as she was but looked much older.

"Sanibonani" she said excitedly as she walked towards them.

Greeting multiple people in Zulu.

As she came up to the pygmies they started singing and chanting. They saw she was holding The Magical Shaka Short Spear and picked her up. She is the offering their God has been waiting for.

The African Goddess was giggling away at these happy little people carrying her into the marsh. Little did she know what their intentions were... He-Man obviously forgot to tell her about The Pygmies.

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