https://www.tiktok.com/@joaquinamayapiano/video/7194556577888652549
When I was younger I saw Garrick Ohlsson in a solo piano concert. I was very close and above, and had a view maybe 45 degrees over his shoulder. I felt like I could imagine being him, as he played.
Incongruous to my unjustified mental image of a pianist, he was huge. Like football player huge. With gigantic hands he could play very quietly, almost inaudible, and then instantly rise to a volume I had never heard from a piano in person before.
I mention that because this extraordinary video reminded me of how much a musical performance can be an athletic achievement. And how stripped raw it can render a person, if they really become an experience of the music. This is probably how Liszt did it. Not that it’s the only way; Liszt’s favorite pupil was Tausig, who is said to have never expressed any emotion in his face or body when playing.
To be honest, while I do sometimes let myself feel something this deeply, it isn’t often. To have the courage and focus and self-assuredness to do so in public, not as an actor playing a character, but just completely immersed in just being me, would be an ideal to strive for.