Modest Mouse combined harsh melodic rock with vulnerable, witty lyrics - with singer/songwriter Isaac Brock acting as the common man's David Foster Wallace, delivering succinct & peculiar insights into life that every teenager in America could relate to.
I was one of those teenagers. Nine years ago, driven by my intense love for the music, I decided to rank every Modest Mouse in order from best to worst on a now defunct music message board. The list is as entertaining today as it was back in 2008, so I'm updating it and bringing it over to Steemit.
Do people still care about Modest Mouse? I'm not sure. I hope some Steemians will find this list enjoyable :-)
note - this list was written after "We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank". It doesn't include the songs from "No One's First and You're Next (EP)" or "Strangers to Ourselves".
Part 1: #139 - 121
139: Sucker Bet (Sad Sappy Sucker)
Pretty much all of the 'Dial-a-Song's at the end of Sad Sappy Sucker are bad, but this one is the worst. A bunch of random noise, Isaac Brock singing something weird before even worse noises that sound like nothing that should ever be put on an album, ever. Congratulations, Sucker Bet, you are the worst Modest Mouse song ever.
My racecar winding down,
There's another sucker bet
My mind minding
So in debt.
So bored and timely that
I'll have to burn another cigarette
We're now finding you
So in debt.
138: BMX Crash (Sad Sappy Sucker)
An accordion, clipped from shitty recording, with lyrics sung badly in a way that's impossible to understand.. and that is it. Awesome. Except, no, this song sucks.
Trailer park bike racing
Goddamn, didnt we go fast?
Trailer park bike racing
Oh no, at night we'll crash
137: Woodgrain (Sad Sappy Sucker)
This one is the first Dial-A-Song to at least not be literally painful to listen to, which is a plus. The guitar part is mildly catchy, the vocals follow that, still pretty hard to understand what he's saying, still really lo-fi, and still not very good. The guitar part of this is like a tiny hint of their style on later albums, but this song is still a pointless bit of Isaac Brock doing nothing, so, bottom of the list it is.
you've got wood grain, Ive got nothing
You've got the water coming out of your head
find something to do and we'll share our issues
find something to do when were only dead
136: Black Blood & Old Newagers (Sad Sappy Sucker)
Another random 30 second song idea that could've maybe been developed into something, but instead Isaac just sings for 10 seconds, goes into some weird yelping falsetto thing, and then ends it. At least you can kinda understand what he's saying this time, I guess.
Black blood and old new agers
When will it become waivers?
Shickleficks throughout the ages
I've written a lot of pages
135: Sin Gun Chaser (Sad Sappy Sucker)
More 30 second lo-fi weirdness, this time Western style. Unfortunately, Lonesome Crowded West this is not, and instead it's just another pointless Dial-A-Song. It's pretty obvious as to why this idea didn't catch on. At least he doesn't start shrieking in this one, I guess.
Make us depressed or just sad
Make us happy or something
I am your sin gun chaser changer
134: 5-4-3-2-1 Lipsoff (Sad Sappy Sucker)
This one is mildly enjoyable, at least. Still a lo-fi 30 second thing that goes nowhere, but it's a little catchy and the lyrics are, while short and pretty meaningless, at least nice sounding. Isaac sounds really young in this one, although it might just be the recording.
whatcha do whatcha do whathca do with your own life
whatcha see whatcha see whatcha see as an astronaut, okay
whatcha eat whatcha eat whatcha eat as an alien
whatcha want whaddaya want from outer space
133: Australopithecus (Sad Sappy Sucker)
This one actually sounds decent. A little bit of a Josh Ritter vibe going on for about five seconds, then it starts to fall apart a bit. Then, it goes back into the first part.. and just cuts off. This sounds like a song that was written in full and then just a random 30 second part was pulled out, which makes me wonder if there's a real version of it somewhere. Oh well.
australopithecus, friend to the end and but it's over over, over again
you wanted to chase around the cat and the dog
while they're playing like that and i said
what's the matter, friend
australopithecus, friend to the end…
132: Dig Your Grave (Good News)
There's pretty much nothing to say about this one. It's not bad, it actually sounds kinda neat, but it's just a twelve second long intro for Bury Me With It, so it doesn't really even count as a song.
I'm already digging
and I hope you're dead
I'm already digging
and I hope you're dead
131: Fruit (The Fruit That Ate Itself)
This one's just kinda pointless. I mean, it sounds alright, I guess, but it's just a quick little interlude that's been reversed. I feel like the three short reversed tracks of off this EP could have been really cool, but instead they just reversed random stuff and tossed it on without any real effort involved, making it a bit lame. This is the worst of those three.
130: Horn Intro (Good News)
This one is actually pretty neat sounding, but it's just The Dirty Dozen Brass Band doing two chords. It's nine seconds long. Therefore, it does not get to be high on the list. It's a good intro to the album, though.
129: Way Down (The Fruit That Ate Itself)
The second reversed interlude track on this EP, and it's not any better than the first one. Just a boring drum, bass, and guitar thing, reversed, and tossed onto the album for 43 seconds. These may work out alright in the context of the EP, but as individual songs, they do not.
128: Sunspots (The Fruit That Ate Itself)
This is the first song on the EP, and it's also the shortest of the three reversed song bits that they included. It's by far the best, and actually sounds pretty cool when everything comes in loudly following a soft intro. However, it's still just a 38 second reversed thing, and so it doesn't get high on the list.
127: SWY (Sad Sappy Sucker)
This is the best of the Dial-A-Songs. That's not to say it's good, but at least it's a bit less bad than the others. The lyrics don't mean anything at all, and it's just a simple two chord thing, but at least it doesn't hurt to listen to. That's about as much as I can ask considering the quality of the other ones.
you're no one
you're going nowhere
you got a fast car.
a e i o u and sometimes y
126: Call To Dial-a-Song (Sad Sappy Sucker)
This one's not even a song, it's just a message that was left on Isaac Brock's answering machine by Spencer Moody. It's pretty funny, though, and I guess that's why they put it on the album. Technically, it is a song, since Spencer sings something at the beginning of the message, I suppose.
Well, I might be a lot of things, but I won't be ignored
When I see you coming, the chariots of the Lord
Well, the pale horses are riding, and the judgment day's at hand
And I'm waiting for the good Lord to take me by the hand
125: Wagon Ride Return (Sad Sappy Sucker)
We're getting closer to the legitimate songs. This one clocks in at 48 seconds, and is actually recorded in decent quality and everything. It's a nice simple electric guitar thing, with a few bits of vocals, but overall, nothing really happens. It's just a short offering from one of the band's earliest recording sessions.
hopped on the wagon, went two feet
now i'm back again
i hit a hard wall
shout two words
i don't understand
124: The Path Of Least Resistance (Sad Sappy Sucker)
I actually really enjoy this one, but little 28 second interludes like this just can't compete with most of Modest Mouse's other songs. This one's another simple guitar thing, now with tambourine, and vocals that are a lot easier to understand. The lyrics are very simple and don't really have much meaning behind them, but it's a nice quick track.
Gone fishin'
I'm takin'
The path of least resistance.
123: Novocain Stain (demo) (Interstate 8)
If this was the only recording of this song, then it would be much higher up. It's a great example of classic Modest Mouse - Jeremiah Green's inventive drumming, sparse, melodic electric guitar lines filling in between excellent vocal/lyrics from Isaac Brock. However, the fact that there is a rerecorded version with much better quality makes this one a bit pointless from the standpoint of today, since it's pretty much the same thing but in worse quality. As such, it ends up here.
So welcome to Minnow Brook
And welcome to Shady Space
And it all seems a little abrupt
No I don't like this change of pace
122: Think Long (Sad Sappy Sucker)
All I want to know about this song is why the hell he sings "Ping Pong, Ping Pong" for half of it. That single handedly drags it down because it doesn't make any sense and it's annoying. Otherwise, this is a decent track, with some good (albeit short) lyrics and a neat little accordion thing going on.
sit and think for a while and you'll realize that you'll still die.
if you're not thinking at all i dont know why you're alive.
121: Interlude (Milo) (Good News)
This is a little accordion interlude that appears towards the end of Good News. It's a nice, simple song, clocking in at just 58 seconds. There's nothing wrong with it, and in the context of the album, it's well placed, but on its own, it's not really noteworthy in any way. It's definitely not good enough to get any higher on this list.
Woof! We are through most of the obscure / interlude tracks. Tomorrow's post will include some more positivity as we get into some of the good stuff :-)