This is something I've always struggled with. I'll let go and stop being mindful of others and say something as a joke that hurts someone's feelings. My therapist would say it's my way of vomiting the pain outward instead of taking it in. One thing that upsets me is hurting others. I really truly, do not want to cause anyone to suffer. I know that's a lofty goal, but "hello it's Jake!!! I make lofty goals". The way I see it is that there is enough suffering in this world. I don't need to add to it.
The hard thing about this truth is I'll forget about it. I'll be reminded when someone points out how I hurt their feelings or upset them. The latest came from someone I thought was a friend. Turns out that he and his girlfriend have not liked me from the first night they met me because I told a rape joke directed at her. This was a while ago but I'm about 90% sure this was the joke. I asked her: "Do you want to play the rape game"? She responded "No". The punchline "Perfect". I know many people would think this joke is funny, but when I reflect on just how ill-humored this joke is I get upset I even repeated it and I repeated it often. Rape is not a joke. I make light of it to deflect my pain and emotional baggage, but this kind of joke can be a trigger for many in our community. This example just proves to me once again When I joke, I hurt others.
I've gotten way better, but obviously, I need to improve even further. I like joking and laughing, but I need to refine this skill in order to not hurt others. I need to stop joking for now until I can deal with whatever is causing me pain on the inside. I should just keep telling my kid's jokes. They are better than mine anyway.
Why can't dinosaurs swim?...................................................................
Because they are dead.
I Love You All
