They have no desire to be coerced into learning, and they do not even want to contemplate the potential of causing you pain… When it comes to providing an explanation for what they have done, they are willing to go to whatever lengths necessary to do so. Depending on the circumstances, they will either place the responsibility on you or on other individuals, or they will act as if it never happened (rewriting the truth). Because of this, the response is unfavorable; they do not experience an improvement in their self-esteem. They damage you in order to achieve their goal of getting you to stop looking at yourself, which is why they inflict pain on you. They either see it on you or they pretend it did not happen by believing a different story that they made up in their own. Either way, they are denying that it really took place. They act in this manner because they do not want to take responsibility for anything that takes place in their lives. When you convey sentiments of grief or disappointment, or when you point out their part in your suffering, they either claim, “I never said that,” or they ignore you like crazy. Neither of these responses is acceptable. As a method of training you to desist from bringing up their actions and failings, they will give you a great deal more hurt if you point out that they have caused you grief.
The ripple effect of the abuse, on the other hand, makes you more willing to feed them while simultaneously allowing them to discontinue feeding you and then brainwashing you into not feeding yourself. As a result, you are rendered less powerful, distracted, confused, devoid of pleasure, and insatiably hungry for them. On top of that, you are famished for them. As a consequence of this, you become less loud when their actions cause you pain, you become less demanding of yourself, and you gradually give up the things that offer you joy. until you are nothing more than a supply of persons who have been trauma-bonded, who are obedient, and who are codependent. If you have a spouse who is obedient, suffering from chronic post-traumatic stress disorder (CPSD), and who is too psychologically conditioned (brainwashed) to walk away, and who is always on call to feed only them, does this make them feel better about themselves, or does it help them believe that they are better than you? They do not need to run swiftly; all they need to do is create the appearance that they are going faster than you and persuade you that you are unable to move at all without them. It is not required for them to sprint quickly.