this is all so frustrating.
I wish I knew what I was doing
7 years ago by markhinnebusch (26)
I wish I knew what I was doing
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Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.
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A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. --Nietzsche--
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Comedy. Sudden, violent, comedy!
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`As leader, you should never forget those who are loyal to you. You should hold parties for them regularly and have lots of whiskey (free) for them. That way, they get drunk and reveal themselves as the disloyal vermin they all are in reality.' -- On Governing
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Oh Mr. Belpit, your legs are so swollen!
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Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. --Will Rogers--
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Boren's Laws of the Bureaucracy: 1) When in doubt, mumble. 2) When in trouble, delegate. 3) When in charge, ponder.
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That's the front page, Mrs. Billsby.
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In America sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it is a fact. --Marlene Dietrich--
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Thoughts on management : If everyone dislikes it, it must be looked into. If everyone likes it, it must be looked into.
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It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person to reconcile himself to the idea that after all God will not help him. --H. L. Mencken--
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In your plan, `A Better Britain For Us', you claimed that you would build eighty-eight thousand million billion houses a year in the greater London area alone. In fact, you built only three in the last 15 years. Are you a bit disappointed with this result?
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Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. --Stephen Leacock--
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The Fifth Corollary to Murphy's Law: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
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The last thing you want is an educated, affluent and emancipated population. Power hinges on the restriction and control of wealth. Science and technology offer unlimited wealth. Therefore, science and technology have to be controlled. Knowledge and reason are enemies. Myth and unreason are the weapons you fight them with.
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The evidence before the court is incontrovertible; there's no need for the jury to retire.
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Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others. --Oscar Wilde--
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If cowardly and dishonorable men sometimes shoot unarmed men with army pistols or guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary and gallows, and not by a general deprivation of a constitutional privilege. - Ark. Supreme Court, 1878
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Hey Dad, you crossed my line of death!
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Benchley's Law: Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.
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Oh, right away, sport, right away, you know! I 'aven't 'ad it for weeks!
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If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stomping on a human face -- forever. --George Orwell--
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It is easier to denature plutonium than to denature the evil spirit of man. --Albert Einstein--
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I don't patronize bunny rabbits!
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You have an annoying fascination for timepieces, Mr. Sulu.
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Thoughts on Programming, Number 55: Design of both hardware and software must be considered when doing the system design. -Proceedings of the IEEE, 2/78, p.167
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The battle, Sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Besides, Sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston! The war is inevitable; and let it come! I repeat, Sir, let it come!' - Patrick Henry (1736-1799) in his famous 'The War Inevitable' speech, March, 1775
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Bicycle Repair Man, how can I ever repay you?
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Rev. Mahaffey's Observation: There's no such thing as a small whiskey.
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If the world were a logical place, Men would ride side-saddle. --Rita Mae Brown--
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[The vector] has never been of the slightest use to any creature. -Lord Kelvin
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Llamas are larger than frogs.
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Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy. --Franz Kafka--
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Birds of prey know they're cool.
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Whatever goes around, comes around.
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Gordon's First Law: If a project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.
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It's the central preoccupation of my life.
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To me it is like a mountain.. a vast BOWL of PUS!
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Boyle's Observation: A welfare state is one that assumes responsibility for the health, happiness, and general well-being of all its citizens except the taxpayers.
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Rules of Pratt: #1 If a severe problem manifests itself, no solution is acceptable unless it is involved, expensive, and time consuming
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Life does not cease to be funny when people die and more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. --George Bernard Shaw--
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Landau's Programming Paradox: #3 A software committee of one is limited by its own horizon and will only specify that far.
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OK, like don't get excited, man. It's 'cause I'm short, I know.
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Arriving home, they learned that Glenn and Edna Catwomb had been slain by maniacs.
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It is easier to denature plutonium than to denature the evil spirit of man. --Albert Einstein--
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Disperse you Rebels - Damn you, throw down your Arms and disperse. -- Maj. John Pitcairn, Lexington, MA, April 19, 1775
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Communism is like one big phone company. --Lenny Bruce--
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I don't know what you want here, but I think you should know that I've killed a LOT of old people in my time, and I'm not above doing it again.
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You think you got it rough? What about your darling doggy? Ten short years and he's getting old and groggy.
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Thoughts on Programming, Number 7: Each program has an appropriate level of care and sophistication dependent on the uses to which it will be put. -The Psychology of Computer Programming, Gerald M. Weinberg
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Bok's Law: If you think education is expensive -- try ignorance.
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If there is one basic element in our Constitution, it is civilian control of the military. --- President Harry S. Truman (1884-1972)
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Nice girls don't explode.
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Kill one man and you are a murderer. Kill millions and you are a conqueror. Kill everyone and you are a God. -- Jean Rostand
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We, free citizens of the Great Republic, feel an honest pride in her greatness, her strength, her just and gentle government, her wide liberties, her honored name, her stainless history, her unbesmirched flag, her hands clean from oppression of the weak and from malicious conquest, her hospitable door that stands open to the hunted and the persecuted of all nations; we are proud of the judicious respect in which she is held by monarchies which hem her in on every side, and proudest of all of that loft patriotism which we inherited from our fathers, which we have kept pure, and which won our liberties in the beginning and has preserved them unto this day. While patriotism endures the Republic is safe, her greatness is secure, and against them the powers of the earth can not prevail. -- Mark Twain
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Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite.
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Mind your manners, son! I've got a tall pointy hat!
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Approval Seeker's Law: Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.
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Definition: Lawyers : Litigants are amateur self-justifiers; Lawyers are the professional justifiers of others.
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Bolton's Law of Ascending Budgets: Under current practices, both expenditures and revenues rise to meet each other, no matter which one may be in excess.
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The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possi- bility that there may be something to them which we are missing. --Gamal Abdel Nasser--
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You got it.
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I like overkill.
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There are three terrible ages of childhood -- 1 to 10, 10 to 20, and 20 to 30. --Cleveland Amory--
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Darling, would you like to propose another toast?
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I'll have you all executed!
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Because if I wear it anywhere else, it chafes.
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Where do we keep all our chainsaws, mom?
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School's out! School's out! Teacher let the monkeys out! One was jailed! One prevailed! Both asked God: 'How have I failed?' --traditional grad school chant
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Boultbee's Criterion: If the converse of a statement is absurd, the original statement is an insult to the intelligence and should never have been said.
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Laws of Programming: #2 - Bugs will appear in one part of a working program when another 'unrelated' part is modified
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Baldy's Law: Some of it plus the rest of it is all of it.
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We have your favorite animal cookies. Here's a gorilla... Here's a collared peccary...
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Thoughts on Programming, Number 15: The nature of programming being what it is, there is no relationship between the 'size' of the error and the problems it causes. -The Psychology of Computer Programming, Gerald M. Weinberg
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The Irish are a fair people -- they never speak well of one another. --Samual Johnson--
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Thoughts on Programming, Number 21: The programmed computer has all the fascination of the pinball machine or the jukebox mechanism, carried to the ultimate. -The Mythical Man-Month Frederick P. Brooks, Jr.
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Like its politicians and its war, society has the teenagers it deserves. --J. B. Priestley--
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There are three terrible ages of childhood -- 1 to 10, 10 to 20, and 20 to 30. --Cleveland Amory--
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A cardinal rule of bureaucracy is that it is better to extend an error than to admit a mistake. - Colin Greenwood
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Thoughts on Programming, Number 38: Add little to little and there will be a big pile. -Ovid
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Don't fight it - It's bigger than both of us. In your case that verges on the incredible.
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Ho! Ha-ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!
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Sweet Loretta Fat, she thought she was a cleaner, but she was a frying pan...
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Political tags - such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative, and so forth - are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. The former are idealists acting from the highest motives of the greatest good for the greatest number. The latter are surly curmudgeons, suspicious and lacking in altruism. But they are more comfortable neighbors then the other sort.
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A woman is not property. Husbands who think otherwise are living in a dreamworld.
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Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.
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Brooke's Law: Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
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No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was human nature. --A. A. Milne--
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Autocracy is based on the assumption that one man is wiser than a million men. Let's play that over again too. Who decides?
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The evidence before the court is incontrovertible; there's no need for the jury to retire.
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Layers are the only person in whom ignorance of the law is not punished. --Jeremy Bentham--
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Get your own arts program, you fairy!
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Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive. Has any act of selfishness ever equalled the carnage perpetrated by disciples of altruism? --Ayan Rand--
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Thoughts on Programming, Number 41: I know it. I know what needs to be done - but every time I try to tackle a technical problem some bloody fool wants me to make a decision about trucks - or telephones - or some damn thing. -Robert Heinlein The Man Who Sold the Moon
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I will point out that a lady of refinement would not wish to be found so high in a tree.
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Religion is the fashinonable substitue for belief. --Oscar Wilde--
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Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it's no fun lying to them anymore.
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Oh, so you don't like it?
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It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.
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Faith.....Belief without evidence inwhat is told by one sho speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. --Ambrose Bierce--
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