CBS determines that distant planet not suitable for human life: You don't say!

in news •  4 months ago 

I include this story in my features of dumb stories not because the things that they have determined about this extremely distant planet are stupid - I feel quite the opposite actually - but because of the way that they dumb down the language used in the article in order to, I guess, appeal to a stupider audience that otherwise wouldn't be able to "get it."

I don't put myself on a pedestal here though folks: I don't claim to be of superior intellect. I do, however, think that the way media functions makes all of us a bit dumber each year that passes by. A description of a very interesting planet called "HD 189733 b" resorts to talking about what it would smell like if you were there, even though you couldn't possibly be there because you would melt immediately as would your spacecraft even if we had something that could go that far, and we certainly dont.


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I find astronomy (NOT astrology) to be incredibly interesting and read into it as much as I can. The notion of there being infinite celestial bodies floating around out there is something that if you contemplate it too much, it can be a bit scary. The emptiness of space is a frightening concept to me for some reason.

I am, on the other hand, very impressed that scientists are able to determine things like what the surface temperature of a planet ages away are like, as well as the weather on whatever planet they are talking about.

In the article they go on to explain that the wind speeds on this planet are 5000 miles per hour and it constantly rains "liquid molten glass." Ok, sounds great so far? What else you got? Well it travels around its "sun" once every 2.2 days, I guess the annual calendars the banks give away for free would take up considerably less space.

The descriptions of the planet are interesting, but because this is a CBS puff-piece article, I can only imagine the extremely retarded questions that their "journalists" were asking asking actual scientists, who after a while must have just started taking the piss out of the interviewers. One person, who was not named responded to a idiotic question by giving an equally idiotic answer

"getting caught in the rain on this planet is more than an inconvenience; it's death by a thousand cuts."

I can't imagine what lead to CBS making their headline about this planet, which is 64 light-years away, about what it would smell like on the surface, but I would have to imagine that some liberal-arts degree holding interviewer came with that question ready to ask. Just imagine devoting your life to the search of the cosmos using the most advanced equipment that the human race has ever known, with the brightest minds who have foregone riches and instead devoted their lives to the search for knowledge, only to be asked by some jackass in an ill-fitting suit "ok that's great and all, but what does the planet SMELL like?"


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Let's forget about the fact that in the absence of an atmosphere that is similar to Earth's would result in you suffocating immediately, and the fact that you would annihilated instantly if you or any other humanoid was there, and instead focus on "interesting! but what would my living room smell like if I lived there?"

The actual scientists told the interviewer(s), probably repeatedly, that there is zero chance of life existing on this planet due to the extremely harsh environment that covers the entirety of this Jupiter-sized planet that circles its sun at an absolutely astounding speed. I am sure they dumbed it down as much as they could when they explained, again probably repeatedly, that they "are not searching for life on this planet."

I went to college to study journalism and thankfully graduated at just the right time to realize that pursuing a career in that field was a waste of time because Internet had decimated the industry. I think this is part of the reason why almost all articles that we see online today appear to be written by 4th graders who sometimes use a spell-checker.

If you would like to see this completely absurd article written by the clowns over at CBS - which is a dying company themselves, be my guest


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