I'm having a baby boy

It's a Boy

Another smoke break was needed... I stepped outside in the back of the store, delivery drivers were pulling up to clock in for the day. So I lit up and took a drag, pulled out my phone and realized I had a new message. "It's a boy" My mouth dropped open and the cigarette fell to the ground. I was going to be a father to a little boy... That's exactly what I wanted to hear. It was at that moment, I knew how the next 5 years were going to be. I didn't have to worry or deal with a baby girl and punk ass little boys from around the neighborhood. I just had to worry about my little boy, play baseball, basketball.. teach him how to be a man. Wow, I'm going to have a little boy, His mom can go to hell... and my son can come with me. I got me a new wing man and that is a cool feel....

Yo Wally, You gotta delivery bro.. It's about to go late

"Aright, I'm going right now." I ran inside grabbed my order, bagged it, clocked it out on time and ran out to the car. I could feel this new positive energy flowing thru my body. Let's do this...

I drove off with my order, it was only around the corner so i'd be back in a jiffy so I could tell everybody. Exiting the back alley of the store, I realized I forgot my $20 bank we needed in case we needed change for the cash paying customers. "Fuck it," I'll pull some cash out at the atm. So I drove out towards the exit and pulled into the atm, "This sounds like some news to celebrate with... don't pull out twenty.. withdraw 2 big ones and party tonight." This was turning out to be the best day ever.

I stopped at a gas station to break down a twenty dollar bill, carelessly bundling all the money together and throwing it in my side pocket for easy access. Hopped back on the road a few miles down and turned into the apartment complex. This was a confusing ass complex and found it hard to identify one building from another so I drove in deep, circled around and still couldn't find building 9. Coming back to the entrance I realized on my right side the building numbers counting back wards 12, 11, 10.. then, aww shit really? 9 was at the very front.. "C'mon Wally.. such an idiot sometimes" I chuckled at the moment and swung my car around to the front of the building. Apartment 911, the ticket said. The car crept slowly as I peeped each number on the doors, found it, parked my car and took a deap breath, "I'm going to be a motherfucking father," I thought for a second.. and a huge grin emerged.

As I got out the truck I looked over towards room 911 and seen a kid waiting for his pizza. I grabbed the oven bag and walked out towards him.
I left the doors open and unlocked because

• First, I was dealing with some thieves at home trying to steal my truck, they popped both locks on my door on 2 separate occasions.. more on that here
• Second, this ain't the hood and you just don't have to worry about that hood shit happening in this area.
  now back to the story

"Hey what's going on man," I shouted towards him.. he didn't respond so I tried again to loosen him up.. I'm the type of guy that tries to break your mean mugging face if you have one so...

As I walked up to him he seemed a bit unsure so I asked, "You ordered the pizza?"

Yea man

Good enough for me, "Coo, That's $23.71 your total..." I opened the oven bag and proceeded to finalize the transaction...

23.71?

He looked up, calculating in his head and ignoring his fingers that were apparently trying to help...

aww, aright I need to grab some change real quick come inside with me real quick and I'll get that for you.

"Ok, no problem," I started to follow him but wondered why he wasn't walking into his apartment, 911 he stood in front of. Whatever, just follow him.

He continued towards the building 8 adjacent to his. Why is he going this direction... His paced picked up and I had a good distance between us. I'd better catch up or I'm going to fall behind, so I sped up a bit. He looked back to see if I was keeping up with him.

do you know what hood senses are? No?
Well, you know how Spiderman has spidey senses...
it's like that for people like me in the hood, when hood senses go off 
be ready to fuck shit up or get the fuck out of there

My hood senses went off... DANGER DANGER DANGER... what the fuck is going on, I'm wasn't in the hood... this was unexpected.

I looked around, questioning why I was feeling this way.. glanced around and in the cars, every doorway and corner. We only walked 10 feet towards the direction of the next building which was 20 feet away. Little homie was heading towards the back into an alley way between buildings 9 and 8. He slowed down at some bushes which ended at the side of building 9 and looked back towards me again. There wasn't any danger around me at all. He took one big sigh as he looked up to the sky again and reached over into the bushes. It was at this moment, seeing the alley between the buildings, I slowed down and started to step back but I was already on his ass.. FUCK.

He swung around and lifted a silver pistol towards me and lunged in my direction. His hands were shaking and a gun never seemed so terrifying as it did violently shaking with a nervous trigger man behind it. He tried to control his anxiety and I could only think to myself, this dude is going to accidentally shoot me in the face. I tried to fall to my knees at that moment but he caught me just in time, flung around me like a running back dodging linemen. This dude was itty bitty, I could brake him with my pinky.. yet his trembles and inability to control his gun weakened me enough that he easily pushed me towards the alley way

GET THE FUCK ON THE GROUND

I'm having a baby boy

"aright, aright," I complied... I fell on my knees and dropped the oven bag to the side. He pushed the back of my head straight to the muddy pathway. He started padding me down, what the fuck is this kid doing.. "hey dude, don't shoot me, the money is in my pocket."

Where the money man?

Seriously, is he not fucking paying attention to me?

Where the money?

"dude, it's in my pocket, just don't shoot me... o fuck, o fuck, o fuck" he continued patting my whole body down.

I'm having a baby boy

Where the fucking money man?

IS HE NOT FUCKING LISTENING, I JUST TOLD HIM TWICE, DIDN'T I?
BTW, I always reminded myself I was a born again christian and if I were to ever see my life coming to an end.. I would pray to God, ask forgiveness of my sins so I wouldn't have any issues at the pearly white gates.
While this dude continues to frisk me, let me go ahead and take this time to let you know.. these italics in the story are me TALKING TO YOU... YES YOU, THE PERSON READING THIS...

I'm looking at you right now, with the side of my face pushed into the mud with some questionably homosexual frisking going on. NOW BACK TO THE ACTION

The pistol digs into the back of my head, "Whoa"
Did not expect that

CLICK, CLICK

I'm having a baby boy

gimme the money man

final prayer activated "Oh God, I pray to you asking for...."

shut the fuck up and gimme the money

I'm having a baby boy

"forgive my... " for some reason he grabs my ass.. like a whole ass cheek.

I can't make this final prayer with a dude trying to grab my ass, prayer will continue shortly

"it's in my side pocket of the shorts dude... look i'm turning over so you can reach in the side pocket"

he reaches in the pocket and pulls the wad of bills out as I roll back over on my belly putting my face into the ground. the sound of the bills fluttering and the panting whisper of someone horrible at math, counting HIS money and breath.

I'm having a baby boy

I feel his energy rising in confidence and power, he pulls my wallet out of my back pocket. He stands towering over my body and it feels like we've been here for hours...

The gun returns to the back of my head pushing my face deeper into the mud, I can't breath and I didn't have time to take a deep breath to hold.

CLICK CLICK

What the fuck is that clicking sound?

CLICK...CLICK CLICK

The pressure of the nozzle pushes harder into the back of my skull and I continue holding my breath hoping I don't suffocate in a patch of mud. My ears started to ring, like an old school television being turned on, sound started to muffle from the pressure.

I'm having a baby boy

His energy and presence vanished, I realized he wasn't on top of me anymore... I decided to keep my head down just a bit longer but turned to the side just a bit so I could finally breathe.

maaaan

I knew he was still around me and if I complied just a little longer.. I had a chance to see my little boy. At this moment, Fuck God... I wasn't going to die.. I was going to see my son born. "1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi..."

SILENCE

I slowly rolled around to my back and looked around me.. he was gone. He had my keys, my wallet, party money and even took the oven bag with pizza.

I jumped up and ran out towards the parking lot nearly tackling a meter man walking right into the area I was just robbed. SERIOUSLY?
Called the cops, the babymama, the store to let them know what just happened then mentally shut off... I questioned myself for months on after. What the hell was clicking in the back of my head? why me? Questions/steps leading further down into darkness. Each step led to a new question and each question became another step lower.

Funny thing about that store, they never had any delivery drivers robbed in the 6 year history of being open. It just didn't happen in that area.. until I showed up.

I would get to see my beautiful baby boy but what happened that day, turned me into a "father to be." I never wanted kids, he was a mistake and that's the only way I saw it... until I heard, CLICK CLICK

I was already mentally unstable and this little kid kicked the weak and dying innocence, already tainted by the struggles of an eventful month. I was dealing with insomnia... it had only been 2 weeks since I bravely ran out at 3 am to catch some burglars trying to steal my car. I found it hard to sleep and along with my ADD medication... I was focused on catching the scumbags.

It was my last step down, a gun to the back of the skull CLICK..CLICK CLICK a deceitful staircase into darkness quickly turned into a vicious slide and I continued descending, unable to see who or what I was bringing with me.

The only light that shined on me was a simple thought...

I was alive and going to see my beautiful baby boy.