THE CHILDREN OF TIME, SPACE, AND MATTER - Chapter 0. The brothers voice

in novel •  7 years ago  (edited)

“where are thee going?”

My brothers voice echoes between the trees of the woods. I´m Feeling my strength wander away as I get more astray.

I take one step after the other, its not my fault, I had to kill our brother. I did it not of jealousy, but of his blasphemy. Not just I, was fed up with his act, but the nations as well. They sing ballads of our cowardly retreat when war was ongoing and nations were in need.

“where are thee going?”

The voice of his demise and hate for my actions became more violent. Knowing not what to do, I walk on. As my last drop of strength wanders and joins with the others, the last thing I see is a white-haired boy forming from the strength. As I fall to the ground and decompose in an instant my sword leaves my side and goes to my strength.

“where are thee going…

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Hilsener! :)

Nice beginning! Do you write on a regular basis?

Thanks! Yhea, I do write on a regular basis, its kind of my own way of illustrate myself and my idées. What about it? ^^

Well, if you are serious on improving your writing skills you might find the Writer's Block as the best place on Steemit for serious writers. They offer free editing services and many of them are native English speakers.

I am serious on it, im just doing it on my own. I want to find my own style instead of giving my work to someone else and make them edit my story. I want my work to be, in a sence, recognizable.

Also! I know there are some faults in my writing. But thats fine as this aint supposed to be printed yet.

i would rather not kill my brother :) good writing skills

Thanks!^^

Where are they going ??

Brilliant work. You have been able to have a good jump. Good start to the story.

Post your next chapter soon.

Waiting.

I'm not sure if it's your style or not, but I would try making the text more readable by adding some line breaks or by using other similar methods :)

yhea! After reading your " three short stories" post I got the idea to do that in future chapters!^^ Live and learn! ;^)