A Collection of Dirty Limericks! Grab a Beer and Have a Laugh!

A limerick is a humorous poem consisting of five lines. The first, second, and fifth lines must have seven to ten syllables while rhyming and having the same verbal rhythm. The third and fourth lines only have to have five to seven syllables, and have to rhyme with each other and have the same rhythm. These limericks are not meant to offend anyone, they are all just jokes.

There was a young artist called Saint
Who ate a whole sampling of paint
The whole of the spectrum
Flowed out of his rectum
With colorful lack of restraint

There was a young suitor from Kent,
Whose dick was so long that it bent,
To give the girls trouble, he folded it double,
And then when he came, he went.

There once was a man called Adair
who was screwing his girl on the stairs.
When the banister broke
he doubled his stroke
and finished her off in midair.

A rabbi who lived in Peru,
Was vainly attempting to screw.
His wife said, "Oy-vey,
If you keep on this way,
The messiah will come before you.

There was once a beautiful lass
Who had a magnificent ass
Twas not perky nor pink as you'd probably think
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass

This one time a fellow named Green
Invented a fucking machine
Concave or convex
It took either sex
But sure was a bastard to clean

There once was a woman, Irene.
Who tried that man's fucking machine.
As she said with the spasam
of her nineteenth orgasm
"How much for this fucking machine?"

Two girls, one cup and some poo
Caused an internet hullabaloo.
If you stumble upon it
You're certain to vomit
When you see what those young ladies do.

There once was a woman named Anheuser
who swore no man could surprise her
but Pabst took a chance
found a Schlitz in her pants
and now she is sadder Budweiser

An Argentine gaucho named Bruno
said sex is one thing that I do know
women are fine
and sheep are divine,
but llamas are numero uno

If you have heard any limericks in your life that you would like to share, please do in the comments!