Marshall Rosenberg, the author of "Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life," spoke of NVC being a "process language," rather than static. And since life is an ever changing process, thus the idea that NVC is a tool to inspect and reflect life in a way that makes life more wonderful.
To me this means we may choose to speak in a way that embraces the idea that life is in a state of constant change.
After over ten years of NVC practice, I'm noticing something. I'm realizing that my thoughts and words are shifting to reflect this "life is fluid" view. For example, in the past I might have said, "I think..." where now I find myself more often saying, "I'm thinking..."
What's the difference?
For me, to say, "I think" feels rooted and limited compared to how "I'm thinking" feels more fluid and seems to more explicitly mean, "This is my perspective in this very moment." If you take it further, it seems to embrace the idea that our thoughts change, moment to moment, and so do we.
That said, I am aware of how this way of being, if taken "too far" could possibly become a way of avoiding commitment to being a certain way in the future.
I have feelings of joy when I notice this spontaneous shifting from ___ to ___ing because it meets my needs for growth, depth, understanding, acceptance, harmony, meaning, flexibility, and truth.
Can you know how you will think or feel about an idea or person tomorrow? Next week? Next year?
What does this bring up for you? I'm eager to hear!
This is a brilliant way of explaining this. "For me, to say, "I think" feels rooted and limited compared to how "I'm thinking" feels more fluid and seems to more explicitly mean, "This is my perspective in this very moment.""- I love that
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Great thought!
I agree with you, framing things in terms of "what I'm thinking right now" as opposed to "what I think" more accurately reflects the human condition, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that the words I say matter more than I was initially trained to believe.
For some time now, I've been reteaching myself to be more careful about what I say, and to not make idle promises or white lies. It has made me a more mindful person. For instance, when someone asks me to do something (maybe go to an event or something), and I'm not really feeling it, I used to just say "Yeah, OK" because it felt rude to say no. Doing that in trivial cases eventually trained me to not take my word as seriously as I want to, so now I make a point of not saying "yes" unless I'm certain I will follow through.
I was surprised at how liberating it feels, and how much easier it became to keep track of my commitments, when I simply refuse to agree to things that I didn't fully want to agree to. And if anything, it's improved my relationships, rather than harming them because I seem rude or noncommittal.
Now I'm thinking (wink) that this may be a good next step in my process of retraining myself to speak more accurately and honestly.
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Wow. I love hearing what you said here! It adds inspiration to the path I'm on. Thank you!
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