Suicide really looked like the only answer, Now days Im just grateful I finally got my shit together
I Prayed For an Overdose
I was living my life wishing I were dead
Feeling like a book that nobody has read
Going through my days trying to numb my pain
So I kept pushing that shit through my vein
Forgot all about all the things that I ever held dear
Running out of dope was my only fear
There once was a time my life was full of hope
But I fucked around and gave it up for dope
I keep ending up running the street
Wishing for death not admitting defeat
My nights were spent in the back of a u-haul
Contemplating my misdeeds and not realizing my downfall
All I ever wanted was for this shit to be done
Because I've gone nowhere but was always on the run
I do all the wrong things to fill the void in my heart
So I ran from Baltimore to get a fresh start
An old junkie buddy said its all about being grateful
But its not easy to wake up every day and not be hateful
I forgot myself years ago, for a decade I sat on a shelf
Now putting in the work to learn about myself
Sometimes it's hard cause I don't know what to feel
Just look at my past, you really think I'll ever heal
All the time finding myself playing with my old scars
And wonder how and why I've gotten this far
They used to tell me stupid shit like God has a plan for me
But fuck back then I didn't know what it could even be
Through my own chapters of my book more has been revealed
And now I’m realizing that a lot of my scars have been healed
Now that my issues have been unraveled
It's time to take the road less traveled
No longer am I craving to shoot dope
And help others who think there life has no hope
I'm no longer wandering like the living dead
All because I've learned to control what is in my head
Suicide really looked like the only answer
Now days Im just grateful I finally got my shit together
