Love October, Hate October

Here it is once again. October. October, the month, holds good memmories, bad memories. Call it seasonal depression. I call it "having lived".
Once upon a time many, many years ago on October 4, 1988, I asked for a young, beautiful, vivacious young girl's hand in marriage. On that day, I came home from jury duty and as I proposed to the Love of My Life playing in the background waa Aerosmith's "Angel" on Birmingham's premier rock station "Rock 99". She said Yes!
One year, eight days later, She and I eloped. Not that We had to but do to her Mother that had divorced her Father and left the children with Dad it seemed to be the thing to do since her Mother wanted to control things. On October 12, 1989, she and I drove to McMinn County, Tennessee, and stood before a Probate Judge. Why did We go to Tennessee? Just because. No real reason. On Our way back We stopped at Rock City. You have probably seen the signs if You have ever driven the roads in the South, "See Rock City". The signs are everywhere. On that day the song by Alabama "High Cotton" played on every country music radio station we turned to. So, High Cottin became Our wedding song.
Over the years, October became "Our" month of the year. We loved the turning of the leaves due to it being fall of the year. As each October approached We scheduled Our vacations during the month. We've been to the mountains, the beach, the Biltmore Estate, and Thomas Jefferson's home, Monticello, to name a few places.
Life was GREAT! Absolutely! During all those We built a life together and a family. We have two children together. My Wife home schooled the children the first five years of their mandatory years. The kids played park ball sports beginning when they each turned five. They loved it. So much, each child played the park ball sports up to the beginning of their junior high school years. Yes We were living the American Dream. The fall of the year brought football and cheerleading. We have a son and daughter. Always busy.
Then, in 2009, My Love was hit head on by a driver under the influence of drugs. That happened in September. She was immediately rendered unconscious. She never regained consciousness. For thirteen days she withered away in a coma. At 1:15 a.m. on Friday, October 2, 2009, My love left this existence. Ten days before Our twentieth wedding anniversay. An event We both were looking forward to so much.
Then, on a Sunday, October 4, 2009, exactly twenty one years and at the same time of day that I proposed to the most beautiful woman in the world and She said Yes I was screaming inside Myself "NO! NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!! THIS IS A DREAM! IT HAS TO BE A DREAM?! THIS IS A SICK FUCKING JOKE!!! PLEASE GOD IN HEAVEN DON'T LET THIS BE HAPPENING!!!
As they lowered her body in the ground. That was the coldest fall and winter in 25 years. I couldn't get warm. Plus, for six months I walked around for six months feeling as though someone and cut My heart out.
Fast forward seven years since that tragic day I feel no different. I survive this time of the year. Depression? Nah...broken hearted? Yea.
Remember, You can't judge a book by its cover because You simply have no idea what "hell on earth" a person has lived through.
PEACE.