Vietnam By Motorbike: Things That Don't Kill Us But Probably Should

Dear Readers,
Inspired by some of my favorite podcast, I have decided to repost some earlier work.

This post is the lead up to a road/off road motorcycle trip through North Vietnam. As you will read, I had virtually no riding experience. On day 5, I actually had a major crash, however, that did not deter me from finishing the 8 day ride. And although our first ride also included two minor crashes, three flat tires, one lost GoPro, and one suicidal chicken, we came back to Northern Vietnam for two more trips in 2016 and 2017.

Unfortunately we are not riding this year, but we do have future plans to ride in Mongolia! I will wholeheartedly miss Vietnam and riding this year, but continue to look for opportunities this year in my current neighborhood... I'm looking at you Oman!

If you have any questions about riding in Vietnam please do not hesitate to ask. We also had a great guide the last two years, and I'd be happy to send him more business.

Bonus: A must watch video from our second year ride. Cheers!

April 30, 2015 (original post date)

A few months back I was included in an email thread about riding motorcycles around northern Vietnam. Every now and then these kinds of conversations come up, either online, or more likely while having a beer, where a bunch of guys talk about hiking, camping, riding, etc. Most of the time the scheduling ends up being such a problem that the idea falls apart. This was not one of those times.

As the months passed the plan started to take shape among a core of three guys. A few more of us had said we would "maybe go". At some point, about a month out, it was decision time. Now, for me it wasn't really a scheduling problem. My issue was I was scared shitless to 1) ride a motorcycle, and 2) do it out in the middle of nowhere.

The first wasn’t just blind panic; the last time I was on a true motorcycle I had popped the clutch, hopped a pile of logs, and almost crashed into my friend's mom’s car. Ok...so, that was when I was 10, but some things only a therapist can help with. Or, better yet, I could save money on a therapist and face my fear!

I had been to Vietnam the summer before, and traveled the entire eastern part of the country from south to north for a month with my wife and son. I loved it, and desperately wanted to go back.

The group organizer is a good friend, and also lives here in Shenzhen. As the date grew closer, it was his motivational man up speeches over many beers that also helped me commit. So, eventually, my love for Vietnam, Joe/motivational beers, won out over my fear of motorcycles, and I committed to join the group.

I was the fourth to commit. At the time I found myself hoping for a fifth, because in China the number 4 is closely associated with death...but that little tidbit of Chinese culture I decided was best kept to myself.

On the scheduled date I met Joe in Hanoi. The other two members of our 'motorcycle gang' were coming from the states, and weren't due until the following day. Over dinner that night it was clear that Joe was also a little concerned about my “skills” (or lack of), and suggested that we go over to our motorcycle guy and do a little practice before the rest of the crew arrived.

The following morning we made our way over the the motorcycle shop, and were told "no problem, come back at 3". This was kind of a let down because I had geared myself up for this “practice run”, and now I had all day to think about it. Nonetheless, Joe and I found that it was easy to waste a day on the streets of Hanoi shopping, eating, eating, and eating some more but this time with beer.

At 3pm we met the owner of Off Road Vietnam, Anh Wu, and we got geared up to go practice. When I imagined this “practice” I thought of a large open dirt area. Now... I have been to the congested city of Hanoi before, soooo I'm not sure why I imagined this practice session that way... and as you probably guessed, it was anything but.

Anh told me to jump up behind him on the bike, and we wound our way down a narrow alley to the street, crossed to this space beneath the underpass, and he said “ok here!”. In this fenced-in sort of triangular space, that was maybe 60m, and dotted with freeway columns, was my “practice track”. I even had an audience of three people that looked like they might live there.

Anh went through the basics, clutch left hand, front brake right hand, back brake right foot, etc. I knew all this stuff, but I dutifully waited until he finished his whole speech. Then he said with a total lack of enthusiasm and conviction, “Okay...you try.” It was clear he didn't expect much, but I was determined to show he and Joe I was ready!

I saddled up, drew in the clutch, pushed down to first gear, and thought “okay... just let out the clutch sssllooowllyy" and... I stalled. I started up the bike and tried again, and...stalled. This is going awesomely!! By the third try I had figured out the relationship this particular bike had between the gas and clutch, and was able to actually ride.

I rode up and back, and up back, and up and back, and up and back. I did circles around the columns. After about 20 minutes Anh said, "enough!" He didn't even charge me for the “lesson” because he said it usually lasts about 2 hours. My head got a little bigger that day.

At 8:30 the next morning, with our gang all in town, we walked down the street to Anh Wu’s little shop. The downstairs of this shop is maybe 4m x 4m. In that space they keep six 250cc motorcycles! We later found out that they keep the rest of their bikes in a warehouse somewhere, but nonetheless it was an impressive use of space.

If you have been to cities in Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia it’s the same chaotic traffic. If not, try to imagine the 405 in LA without lanes and then add a million scooters. The locals will tell you, as Anh Wu did this day, “You must drive with traffic as if you are riding a river”. Translation, “Dude...go with the flow”. Yeah, ok grasshopper.

Anh Wu had one other practical piece of advice for us, “You see chicken on road...kill it! You see buffalo, STOP!” That sounded like great advice to us, and with that, we rode off into the river of Hanoi traffic.

After I stalled a couple of times...of course.