A Rumination on Pain
A little pain is always necessary
To affect growth
However too much
Can cause lasting harm
Pain is inevitable
After all we are only human
People hurt and betray us
And that causes pain
It happens again
And that pathway of pain
Becomes even stronger
And easier to feel
Holding onto the pain
We vow never again
Will we be fooled
We ruminate in the pain
And feed it back to ourselves
We think the memory
Of that pain protects us
But all it does is warp us
All it does is turn friends
Into enemies
When they hurt us again
Where there may have
Been a mistake or accident
The pain makes us assume
Intention to harm
Go through life with this mindset
And one day you will find
All you have left
Are a bunch of people
You used to call friend
The pain we hold and repress
Becomes bitterness
And we begin to expect it
And look for it
Everywhere we go
The tiniest offense
Becomes overwhelming evidence
Of a great plot
To inflict harm
The pain becomes
A self fulfilling prophesy
For what we seek
We inevitably will find
And the fear
Of being hurt again
Leaves us ever vigilant
For pain’s inevitable return
We become so vigilant
That we often strike first
Before pain even has a chance
To rear it’s ugly head
Forgiveness isn’t given
Just for the sake of the one
Who caused the offense
It is given
For the sake of the poison
That bitterness
Leaches into your soul
Forgiveness is not forgiveness
If you don’t release
The vice grip
You have on your pain
Justice is God’s territory
The vengeance you seek to inflict
Will only be returned to you
Through the bitterness
That drags you deeper
Into the painful abyss
Of loneliness
All the pain and vengeance
You wish to inflict
On those who hurt you
Has already been done
To the one who bore
Their sin
Whether or not
They ever realize that
Is not up to you
You don’t have to
Carry their sin
Anymore
Forgive
And forget the pain
It’s only purpose
Is to reveal our current limits
That God calls us
Into the strength
To grow beyond
It was never intended
To handicap us
And become our prison
Their sin
Was never your cross
To bare
Feel your pain
And then release it
The Cross is catharsis
And it waits for you
What are you really searching for?
“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:”
Matthew 7:7 KJV