Palnet Night Diaries... Episode 4: Atomic Farts Can End Wars!

in palnet •  5 years ago 

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Yoohoo steemies! Welcome to my night diaries, the place where you can laugh like insane or curse de crap out of people! Alrighty, me go first...

My mom asked me to take her to the pharmacy today to buy some stuff and get her pills. When were there an eighty something years old man came to me asking if his $1 was enough to buy a package of chocolates. The old man smelled horrible! Like if he stopped showering a thousand years ago but I said nothing cause is not my business and answered him. My mom came and start complaining about the smell... the guy looked at her mad and walked away. I scolded here cause she always does the same. I took the things we needed and went to the register to pay and that's when the whole thing started...

The cashier, a young woman farted. It wasn't any normal fart... It was one of those gases that makes you wish to die instead of breathing! The place was close, I mean, its a pharmacy with a/c and soon the pestilence filled the entire place. My mom, like always, started to complain...

Mom: Did you farted?
Me: What?! Why you always blame me for everything?!
Mom: It wasn't me!
Me: Me neither!
Mom: OMG! Lord! Help me here! I'm gonna die! You farted?! You farted!!
Me: I didn't do it! Lower your voice for God sake, you're embarrassing me!
Mom: I'm gonna die! I will vomit here! I can't take this anymore!
Me: Cut the drama already!
Mom: Who farted?! Who?! You are putrid inside! You have something dead inside! Oh Lord, help me! I'm gonna die!
Me: Aaaah! Shut up! Everyone its looking at us!
Mom: I will die! I feel like I will faint!

The look on the cashier's face was priceless! She was so ashamed, she was pale like a dead person! My mom was screaming all that and didn't stopped until we got out. When we got out she run to the car breathing like if she was dying... "Air, clean air! I thought I was gonna choke there! Tell me the truth, it was you? Did you farted?!"... My mom is a drama queen... an extra strength drama queen! And yes, that fart was the worst thing ever and probably if someone fart like that in the middle of a war can end up the conflict or kill the entire zone but jeez, why do I always get the blame for everything?! I feel sorry for the cashier, I bet next time she will try to hold it to not be ashamed so badly... old people are so messed up!

So now is your turn. Tell me, how was your day?

__
Sources for the art I made for this post:
moon, hand, cloud, notebook


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@blacklux you are so funny but I am sure you did not see the humor in it at the time your Mom was complaining. Good story.

No, I wasn't laughing at that time. Is funny now but at that time I was very pissed off hehe

@blacklux you cannot be mad at Mama, embarrassed yes, mad no.

I'm considering this but somehow I think I might horrify my regular readers

hahahaha You never know when a gas can save the world!

Hmmm. I cried laughing about what my neighbour confessed to me but I think it might be best kept off the blockchain lol

Aaaaah!! Nooo! Tell us... just you, me and the whole blockchain will know! hahaha

  ·  5 years ago (edited)

Lets just say it involved grindr and it didn't go well. And I learned a new word: quam jam

Oooooooooooooooh nope, nope nope noooope!!! Ew, ewww, ewwwwwwwww!!! Poor guy!

  ·  5 years ago (edited)

:D The fart is a great monster character, like The Blob or The Thing or Alien, once he is out the people reveal them self in the unexpected, dangerous situation. This was tense and dramatic.

hahahahaha The Thing would run away with the gas of that woman! :D

  ·  5 years ago (edited)

:D hihihi