pussy post (contains language that may be offensive and nsfw)

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you've all heard of a shit post. well this is a pissy pussy post. my personal bitchy rant. its long.

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caveat: if you read this and become triggered, just shut the fk up and deal with it like a real man, please respond in a respectful adult fashion. if you cannot do this, feel free to stop reading. you may think whatever you need to in order to feel good about yourself. if you feel the need to comment, please speak out with civility and courtesy.

p.s. music courtesy of youtube is for entertainment purposes only. no really. listen to the songs...

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this is a post about language bombs and troll baiting. its about the powerlessness we feel and the casual insults to our worth as human beings that we unconsciously accept. its about the passive aggression that we voice to others in the name of upholding our social identity. its about speaking out instead of silently condoning.

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where is this coming from?

why do people feel its ok to to equate a womans vagina as something cowardly, weak or whiney when its thrown into chat as a casual insult, insinuating the undesirability and bad fortune of being a woman? not even a typical woman, but the most negative and insulting stereotype of a woman. yet the same word, pussy, connotes the ideal fuck, distancing the act from the individual, thus objectifying the female genitals and debasing women as people undeserving of respect or admiration.

theres a double edged insult in the word, yet we accept it socially, because if we dont we are labelled as uptight feministas. we act as if the implied message isnt really there, while claiming to respect women. we glory at calling our friends other insulting words that degrade women - cunts, whores, bitches, douches and occasionally, dicks, fags or assholes, ignoring the fact that it might offend more genteel individuals.

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why do we do this?

we all know this kind of casual banter in chat. we accept it as standard. ya I know you think its funny. it is - until it goes too far. until it offends someone. then we laugh and try to blow it off, oh sorry, didnt mean to be offensive, was just fooling around. yet the damage is done.

we all know better, yet like naughty children trying to push the boundaries, we still use words as pruning tools, to weed out people who annoy us. we employ casual insults and sexist laguage, drop troll bait in chat in an attempt to stir shit, to shut others down. its a power play. we do it to look "cool" or win an argument before its started by offending instead of actually debating.

how do we respond?

did someone say something you disagree with? did you make fun of their fat ass, age, intelligence, body odor, whatever you think might shut them up? because thats "'murican as fk". high five ya you cool.... asshole.

dude it was ok when we were kids. because we didnt know better. we were taught as children that bullying is part of life, that some people are just assholes and we should not only accept the status quo, just walk away, don't make a big deal about it, "grow a thicker skin". or better yet, beat them at their game.

we act like it doesnt hurt when someone says something mean or derogatory, rather than mention something to the person who said it. instead, we blame the person who got offended by rolling our eyes and belaboring the annoying SJW, PC police, 'on the rag' virgin or uptight cunt who dared to tell us to grow the fuck up. really? I am gonna rethink that blame for you.

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but tor! why you gettin so aggro? they were just having a laugh, no harm meant...

don't get me wrong, I love teasing people myself. I love witty repartee. If I step on your toes by accident, please let me know. at the same time, try to be aware of the language you use oh so casually. look for the hidden bombs that set people off.

imho, people who dis other people for a laugh are immature. back in grade school, people used to bully me for stupid shit. not brushing my hair. having clothes that didnt match because we were too poor to afford new. my lack of coordination, awkward social skills, and a last name that could be used as an insult were all used against me. kids can be mean bastards. they will mock the weak link or the non conformist to make themselves look better.

but we are adults now, right?

sure. yet now we get the "adult" version of the same thing, the borderline teasing that gets edgy really fast if we dare to contradict or give back insult as well as we got. its not that these people were trying to be mean. maybe they are passive aggressive and we need to love them for who they are. they were just so unaware that they were being offensive and mean that they didnt actually understand what they were saying. ... ya sure. or maybe they were just being dicks.

so we should just let it go? and let it go. and let it go...

we let it go - until we blow up and blast someones ears off. and you all wonder where it came from, wondering if it was you. what did I say? but I always act like an ass, thats just who I am...

im writing this, so that next time you wonder, i have something to send to you that you can think about.

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I can be an ass too.

don't get me wrong, im not innocent, i do it myself. I pick on people who piss me off with their attitude. its pack mentality, yo. I'll pick on clown because he picks on me. I think he understands that I love him, in a snarky way. but it's a bad habit imho. I can do better. I can also tell you all that I love you, and I do. but I'm done taking the insults. I can speak out and say that I do not condone the casual disparagement of my sex. I might not make a big deal of it, because if i did, I'd turn into a social pariah really quickly. and we both know that. so stop pushing me there.

there's that oh so fine line between teasing and being a jerk, and its not easy to understand how another person might take your words, or react to your percieved "weakness". some people are brought up to believe that if a person speaks out, its a sign of weakness, something to be ridiculed. they will laugh when you feel hurt, and tell you to grow some balls - because men have balls, therefore they must be superior to the "pussies" - or the whiney bitch you get your pussy from. because its better to act like you arent hurt by someone treating you like an ass than to speak out.

"I'm a man, I can take it". ..ya, but should you?

I think about this, I think about this in relation to our attitude about politics, business one-upmanship, and other relationships in our lives where we need to keep our mouths shut rather than speak out, and how that affects our attitude towards other people we call friends and neighbors. we just seem to take it up the class/race/sex entitlement ass in the realworld, and accept that we cant change anything, so we might as well accept it.

why bother voting when everything is corrupt, why bother fighting for a better job or that raise we deserve? why do we tolerate that guy at work who stares at our boobs and happens to be our boss?

we tolerate it rather than protest, rather than look for another job, because who says the next president or boss or job wont be as bad, or worse? we put up with it because we are taught its useless to fight the system. thats just the way it is.

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its just too much negative emotional energy, too much drama, so we pretend that it doesnt bother us. we play nice to keep the peace, to maintain the status quo. We let other people have their laugh at our expense.

as parents, maybe we see our kids going without if we arent on the ball. even with a two income household, some families can barely afford rent, food and health care for their kids, because some asshole CEO needs to be paid five million a year and benefits while his workers get minimum wage and no benefits for their two part time jobs.

why? because part time jobs dont require a company to pay benefits. loopholes courtesy of the political system that favors businesses over peoples basic human needs. It isn't right. Yet we accept this

but what can we do?

we shrug our shoulders and say, what can we do? we accept the lack of power inherent in a crooked political system. and then we react by putting down people we care about and act like its all a joke. because we feel powerless and out of control. because its unmanly to confess feelings. its unfeminine to express anger. thats changing a bit for the younger generation, but i still get that message a lot.

we see kids deal with these same challenge in schools, yet now we have terrorists on top of bullies. if we dare to speak up, we are told that its wrong to want to ban guns that might kill our kids, that we are left wing crazies trying to take away someones rights. if we speak up about bullying, we are rabid social justice warriors. if we object to Trumps racist sexist mentally deranged edicts, we are called commies and socialists and told we can go back to where we were born. and the left is equally as emasculating. theres no end to the negative pissing contents we wage in the name of upholding our fear based opinions.

we should be speaking out, attacking the system that keeps us tracked in this negative feedback loop.

some people think that being stoic and thick skinned and pretending that things dont bother them, that this makes them strong. some people think that if they viciously silence people thru negative insults and slurs, that this makes them right.

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what is strength?

I see strength more in our ability to join as a community, to speak up with reason and conviction in the face of racism, cruelty, and greed; to speak out against thoughtless people who laugh over misfortune, who selfishly belittle anything or anyone they dont agree with.

people fear change because they fear the loss of something, be it power, money or social status. we remember the lessons of the bully in grade school, the rigged politics that enforce "shut up and take it or else", and we dont think beyond that. or if we do, we become the bully, out of fear. we do what we think we need to to survive, and screw everyone else. now where did we learn that from?

having respect for myself sometimes means telling people when they have crossed my lines. its funny because i do care what people think very much - until i don't. i have this pitiful need to feel liked, as cope might say, the "hooman condition", that often gets disappointed because of my need to tell people to go fuck themselves when they are being a thoughtless jerk.

maybe its a defense mechanism, a result of my childhood. maybe its because im more aware as a woman and a social reject what it feels like to deal with baseless discrimination and bullying. thankfully, it's not enough to shut me up when someone is being a douche.

I try not to look the other way when people are insulting or being obtuse. sometimes i try to hint, or tell people how i feel, but usually i get laughed at, or mostly ignored. this bugs me. even tho I might lose respect, or "friends", or monetary gain, i feel that its better to stay true to who I am than to constantly give in to the pressure to accept what is demeaning.

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it's ok. we're all friends.

so as a friend, im telling you. it's not ok. its not ok to insult me, disparage my sex, assume my religion, or troll bait my political views because you think its funny, and want to pressure everyone else into thinking its funny too, or because you feel you must educate my ignorant opinions. perhaps you havent the common sense to realise that just maybe my opinions and thoughts come from my own experience and research, and being on the earth twenty years longer than you.

steem discord is a social bubble, a giant fish tank cultural experiment. and yea we espouse freedom of speech, but that doesnt mean it comes without consequences. we are trying to onboard new people from other countries, with other languages, and you all are asking what can we do? how do we keep people? how do we make them want to stay?

I'll borrow a phrase from Crim... Kindness * Costs * Nothing.

simple. be respectful. dont ignore the new guy because he's a clueless newb. be attentive and aware of how you come across. allow people to say how they feel. don't ignore women in chat because you want to mancave with your buddies, it's rude. calling people a troll or deluded or ignorant because you disagree isnt respectful social discourse and you know it. If someone tells you they are getting annoyed or upset, take a minute to stop and ask why. all of the common sense things that we often forget to do on a daily basis because we forget to be mindful, and caring.

yes, even me. Im guilty. feel free to call me on it if im being snappy.

now I know someone will read this and take the mickey. Go for it. but do it gently, do it with love.

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