Will my children speak the same language I do?

For most of the first three years of my son’s life, I was very worried about whether my son would learn how to speak my native language or not. For those of you in international marriages who are raising children outside of your native country, you may understand my concerns. For any number of reasons, many children raised in bilingual families only achieve what is called ‘passive bilingualism’, the ability to understand a second language while not being able to communicate in that language. Achieving ‘active bilingualism’ requires that a child actually uses more than one language to communicate on a daily basis. So how does one encourage this? And how does one do so in a way that is not forceful? To be perfectly honest, I don’t know. I don’t have the answers to these questions. All I have are my trials and errors, and maybe what has worked for me will be helpful to those of you who are in a similar situation.

I came to Japan in 2009. I met a Japanese girl that same year. I married her a few years later, and we had a child. According to many of the websites and articles I have read that talk about raising actively bilingual children, the home should be made into a place where only the second language is spoken. Doing so will, in theory, make children rely on communicating in the second language, thus giving them the ability to use and master that language. In my situation, though, because my wife does not speak English, this was not an option. In our house, the dominant language is Japanese, and yet, at three-and-a-half years of age, my son has become a very active bilingual speaker—communicating with me mostly in English, and with my wife mostly in Japanese.

By nature, I am a quiet person. However, after my son was born, I began speaking to him constantly, even when there was nothing happening, or seemingly nothing to talk about. I spent as much time with him as I could and I included him in everything that I did, and all the while I showered him with my constant English monologue—Okay, little guy, it’s time to take the garbage out. Let’s go. Look at this garbage bag. It’s yellow. (In a singsong voice) It’s yellow, it’s yellow, it’s yellow, yellow, yellow. Next, let’s go outside. It’s time to open the door. Look! I’m opening the door. Can you do it? (While holding his hand, and opening the door with him…) Wow! Good job! Thank you for opening the door. Now we’re going to step outside. Let’s be careful. Okay? And on and on I would go. Though I can’t say for sure, I think this kind of endless monologue has played a strong role in developing my son’s interest in and understanding of English. I think it has also helped to create a strong bond between him and I, one that has helped motivate him to communicate with me in English. To those of you who find yourself in the same situation as I, I highly recommend showering your children with your native language as much as you can.

After my son began speaking his first words, he communicated in whichever language he could. He continues to do this now, often reverting to Japanese when he is not sure how to say what he wants to say in English. From the very beginning, I translated anything that my son said in Japanese into English and then had him repeat after me, one word at a time, like this (I—i—DON’T—don’t—WANT—want—TO—to—GO—go.). Afterward, I would say the sentence again at native speed and let my son decide if he wanted to try repeating the full sentence or not. When I did not translate and have my son repeat in this way, I just answered his Japanese with English. I have made it a point to speak to him in English, almost without exception, one hundred percent of the time. This has not been easy, especially when interacting with his Japanese friends and relatives, and it takes a lot of time. It has required a lot of patience and persistence, but it is working for me. Maybe it will work for you too.

Another thing that has been crucial to my son’s English language development is immersion. When my son was two-and-a-half years old, he spent three weeks with me and my extended family in the United States. During that time, I think that English became a real language for him. Rather than being just a set of mysterious sounds coming out of my mouth that only he could understand, it became a real mode of communication for him. Without this short three-week stint of English immersion, despite my best efforts, I really wonder if my son’s English level would be where it is now. If you can, bring your children home to your native country when they are in their language development years. You will be amazed by how much they learn in a short amount of time.

Lastly, TV has played a big role in my son’s language development. I am not a big fan of television myself, and I never imagined that I would allow my son to watch TV as much as he does, but exposing him to a few animations, movies, and TV shows that he has developed a liking to has really helped to grow his vocabulary and has given him a language to narrate his imagination with. I often find him recreating scenes and situations from his favorite animations when he is playing alone or thinks that nobody is watching. During these times, the language that he uses is the language he has heard his favorite characters use. These words and phrases come from a world full of objects and situations that are not typical of the world my son and I move through on a day-to-day basis, so they are not words and phrases I can naturally expose him to. In this sense, TV shows, DVDs, videos, etc. can be a great way to expose your children to your native language.

In short, what has worked for me and my son is a combination of endless English monologue, no-pressure language translation and correction, a little bit of immersion, and daily exposure to English-speaking movies and TV shows. If you are in the same situation as I am, and you are worried about whether your children will become active bilinguals or not, maybe these strategies will work for you too. Good luck!