Feeling: Invigorated but achey
I've been talking about how much I am looking forward to the bub starting school next month because I know I'll finally have a bit of time to myself again once he's sent off.
I mean I know that the first few days I'll probably have to accompany him and get him settled. Lots of kids are not the best at being left alone, even if preschool is all fun and games and friends. We aren't going to talk about getting him settled down yet though, that's a story for another day when we're actually going through it.
I want to talk about once he's okay at the centre and happy playing with his friends.
I'MMA GONNA BE SCOT FREE.
**interesting note about the idiom here.
Ahem well moving on, yesterday morning I had a little bit of an opportunity to get a bit of some well-deserved ME time. It was a lovely prelude if you ask me.
So there's this whole fitness and exercise movement that's being started at the parks scattered around our sunny islands in a bit to get pple exercising more. As if Pokemon hasn't contributed to this.. But yeah.
Here's the link to that. It's called Sundays @ the Park Health Hub
It comprises of free-run classes on little concourses in the park and it's just my luck that one of those locations is directly under my block of flats so it's literally a matter of getting up and brushing my teeth to get ready for this workout session considering the lovely location.
I'm blessed that I have a husband (who turns 33 today! Happy birthday sweety!) who is willing to look after the bub while I go off to sweat, and so I went.
And GAWD, am I SO out of shape...
Today, I wake up aching and everywhere is sore. Not to mention how I felt after a good 50 minutes of jumping and leaping around... I was absolutely dying and falling to bits. But oh, it was also so good!
It's good to feel ALIVE again and aching in places which you've forgotten you had.
After a whole year and then some of looking after a tired bubby and the only exercise you've been getting is carrying the baby around, it feels good to get a real workout in and actually get the blood pumping for yourself.
That said, I'm reminded how the hubs and I actually have not been out on out own much.
Being a parent has a whole bunch of its own side effects aside from the sleepless nights and the tired days when all you're doing is ensuring that your baby is well taken care of. All the minutes and hours that you've forfeited because there's something infinitely more important now...
I remember the scant but precious days that we've had along though. On our last anniversary after the baby was born, we were blessed to have my mum to help us look after the bub while we went out for a date.
And that was pretty much one out of 2 times that we went out alone without the child, the other time, the very first time that we decided to make a trip out without the bub was honestly fraught with a fair amount of worry and concern about whether the baby would be okay without us, and every other second us checking for pictures because we missed him so much.
So yeah, we really didn't get around very much without the baby. Talk about sad parent life
I have to disclaim that we are not all sad butts though. With the bub we get around plenty. It's wonderful how mobile we are with him actually. And I thank God for the resilience and babywearing for the convenience.
But moving on again. About being stuck at home with the bub, it's not a new notion.
Parents have always been more home-bound ever since they've become parents looking after their kids spending time with them
Especially the very first few months, even if you're so tired and haggard and you look like crap so bad that you wouldn't want to go out, even if you could, you would opt to spend that time with your kid anyway. You really don't want to go out even if you could because heaven forbid you'd miss coos and gurgles and giggles or worse, milestones.
I mean, there can only ever be one "first" of something. And do you want to be THAT parent who missed your kids first giggle, or first time he flipped over or first time they stood up and walked?
I would die a little inside.
But not all parents operate like this. I know of parents who are happy to leave their kids with caretakers, nannies, maids, parents and in-laws so that they can get a bit of that time to themselves.
Hell, I know parents who still go clubbing while their child is at home catching dem Zs.
Let me clarify that I am not saying behaviour like that is bad or frowned upon. Hell, it's not like I wouldn't wanna go out and party a little like we used to. I mean, I would love to be able to head out for a nice grown-up, sit-down dinner again.
You DO need a bit of time to yourself to feel like you have a life outside of being a parent. There IS more to life besides dirty diapers and baby babbling and getting your child to learn how to world works.
It would be nice to sit and be absorbed in yourself because we as adults already have got things figured out. Things are much simpler when you're older. (Not really, but for the sake of this blog post, it is. So there.)
But in addition to the reasons cited above, it also doesn't help that when it comes to bedtime, the bub still is attached to me and at the boob no less. Without which, there's no hope of putting him back down if he wakes up in the middle of the night for any reason.
I personally could not imagine being out of the house enjoying myself while thinking that there could be a possibility of my baby waking up at night and crying himself to sleep because I'm not there...
In an entirely non-condescending way, I understand why some parents operate differently when it comes to having to stay at home and be with your kids, versus going out to do their own thing.
There was a point in time for me, and I remember this vividly being the minute I found out I was going to be pregnant, that I was already regretting the potential loss of freedom that comes with giving birth to a totally dependant, squawling baby.
In any case, for the majority of parents in Singapore, there are so many who work all day long as it is. By the time they get back home, that precious hour or two with their kids is all they have. And most of that would be spent feeding, bathing and putting them to sleep.
Not quite quality time together but we take what we can get right.
If you throw in wanting to go out with your friends without them into the mix, then well... I'll be the first to admit that I don't have that kind of time management skills. I'm getting way too old to juggle multiple plans on top of kiddy sleeping and eating schedules.
My personal opinion anyway is that there are only so many moments like these before your kids grow up and decide that they want to spend time with friends of their own, do their own activities, and not have anything to do with their old folk at home.
So why not treasure the time that you can spend with them as much as you can now?
After all, wouldn't it be satisfying to be able to do all of this when you don't have to second guess what's happening at home or feel guilty for missing out when you're out?
Perhaps I'm thinking a bit much about all of this since I don't have the luxury to worry about leaving the baby at home at the moment.
Whatever it is that I end up doing while my bub is starting school, whether it's work or relaxing at home in the bath tub or even getting my sweat on, I know that I wouldn't want to reduce the time that I'm around for him for anything else in the world.
In any case, for all I know, I might end up regretting all this new found freedom and find myself curled in a corner rocking myself while clutching his baby pictures because I've become a basket case mum who can't let go of her kids HAHA.
That all aside. here's hoping that I'll be able to make the most of the little time that we do have left together before I have to ship him off to school eh?
Wistful Already,
Jess
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