What kind of friends would you want your child to have?

When I was around 10 year old, there was an aunty next door who had a daughter slightly older than me. I being the naughty one had lot of complaints against me in the locality and every aunty in the neighborhood hated me for causing the menace. I guess I was hyperactive and with no friends to play with, I was always into some mischief that would put me and my parents through a lot of hearing. However, looking back now, I don't regret even a bit of it.

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So, getting back to that neighborhood girl. I always wanted a friend to channelise my energy with whom I could play some sports and the girl seemed interested as well. She came in to play with me for some days until her mom got to know how mischievous I was. Let me make it clear that all I did was pranks. I was not into drugs or any other kind of bad vices that could make me a bad girl, after all I was just 10. She enquired my mom about my grades at school and my Indian mom didn't think twice to defame me to that aunty (Indian mom's are pretty good at it). So I was potrayed as a bad mischievous student and that lady was pizzed off. One day while I was playing with her daughter she stromed in to the play area and pulled her daughter by her arm and scolded her for playing with me. She told her that she should concentrate on studies or else would be like me.

What did she mean by 'be like me' ? It took me a while to understand that she though playing with me would make her daughter's grades fall. Poor aunty, I pity her now. She lacks knowledge. I wish I could tell her that being bad in studies is not an epidemic that would spread by playing together.

Anyways the girl stopped involving with me in any ways and I was advised by my mom to not trouble them and should take it as a challenge and show that aunty that I could be good in studies, she thought it as the good revenge. To be frank, I didn't understand what they taught at school and was always a average student, so my grades were pretty consistent.

The girl was however good in studies and her mom made sure that she saw fresh air and sunlight only when she went to school. She had absolutely no contact with the outside world. Fast forward to 10 years. We both were in our 20's, my parents got me married to a guy of their choice and that girl got into a company of a rebellious girl and started going to pubs and clubs. Didn't her mother stop her now? She did, but who cares, she now has control over her life. Girl got married to her boyfriend and divorced him eventually.

This actually taught me a lesson, never control your child over his/her friendship. Let him/her choose his/her friends. No matter which caste, Creed, colour, religion or social status his/her friends are from. No matter how bad they score or what habits they have, all you need to do is educate your child on what is best for him. For example, my son has a friend who is below average in his studies, I never would want my son to break his friendship with him. I always tell him to not make fun of his friends and rather he should teach him and make him do better because that would improve his as well as his friends skills.

Teach your child to not humiliate other kids. Tell them what they should and should not learn from their friends. It is not their friendship that is to be judged, it is your parenting that needs correction.

Please understand, an uneducated child won't make your child uneducated, a child of an alcoholic father won't make your child alcoholic, a physically challenged child would not make your child physically challenged. Having such friends will only be good for your child for he /she will know the difficulties that people around have and may also learn to cope up with extreme behaviours. After all it is one much needed power in today's world.