Alternative Parenting and Captain Fantastic

First of all, all kinds of spoiler alerts.

My son told me a couple months ago to see Captain Fantastic. Our internet situation is, um, unique, so we try to download our movies in town. This alone takes some time. Then I really just don't watch too many movies. Life is busy, I guess. Anyway, I do love Viggo Mortenson, like a little over the top fan girl, actually, so I finally made the time to watch it.

I knew nothing about it going in. You know we don’t really have tv here, so I never see commercials or anything like that. If it doesn’t roll through Steemit or fb feeds, I probably missed it. I guess if I had known the topic, I probably would have gotten to it faster, though, right?

Right off the bat, for those who don’t know me, I parent in a pretty radical way, and I consider parenting my children and assisting other parents to be the spiritual work I was put on this earth to do. I also have struggled with depression off and on over the last several years. Yesterday was one of those days. I had shit that needed to be taken care of, and the world was not cooperating with my agenda. Some days I roll through that ok. Some days it really throws me.

Just a couple days ago I wrote about how it's ok for things to not work out just so. I’m adjusting to it, and it’s definitely helping. Just this minute I’m sitting at the immigration office in the longest line I have ever seen in this little building, and I’m totally content with it. It’s all good. Anyway, yesterday was not all good, and I guess that’s ok too. I was really feeling the struggle of money and being able to provide for my kids.

Maybe not the best time to watch Captain Fantastic, huh? I cried. A lot. It was really, really good, and it was really, really hard. I wanted to write about it because I’m curious how others in the alternative parenting community viewed it. I also feel like I need to process what I saw.

It was visually stunning, and almost all of the acting was really amazing. I also thought they did a really beautiful job for the most part of portraying the internal struggles so many of us in this community face. Am I really doing what’s best for my kids? Am I really preparing them not only for the world I would like to see unfold but also for the one that currently exists? Am I over protective? Do I share too much? Do I give them too little or too much freedom?

I have said it before. Some days I wish I could just do things the way the masses do. It’s hard to go outside of the box, outside of the norm, whatever that means. Ultimately as an attachment parent/ unschooler, this movie didn’t have quite so much to do with me, and I can confidently say to all the family that thinks I’m crazy that I have never made any of my children kill a deer with a knife and their bare hands, but there are certainly plenty of parallels.

As an immigrant living in a remote village in a lesser developed country, I mostly identify with the bits about removing my kids from the toxic mainstream culture. I’m not terribly worried about teaching them to survive post apocalypse because I just don’t think it’s going to come to that. I don’t really worry anymore much about what they eat, but I used to stress about that a lot more. These days I fall more into the let them learn to regulate themselves camp. I definitely fell in line with a lot of the political discourse, though I don’t really go quite so deep as they do. I definitely understand about the family interactions part.

As an unschooler, I was a little disappointed with the portrayal of homeschooling. It’s not that I think people shouldn’t do traditional homeschooling. It's just that I think it exacerbates this idea that those of us who don’t put our kids in school have to prove something which is deeply tied to the very mistaken belief that people’s worth is tied to their money or education. Of course it was a mainstream movie, so I really felt it delivered a good bit all things considered.

Something I learned years ago when I was staffing at the Sudbury school is that everyone has their thing. Some of us feel strongly about food. Some feel strongly about vaccinations. Some feel strongly about materialism. Some feel strongly about religion. Some feel strongly about the socio political situation. Some feel strongly about an impending apocalypse. I feel strongly about many of these things, but mostly about education. That’s my thing. To me that is the key.

Mostly I’m glad they went back in the end. I’m glad that, even with all the challenges and frustrations, they chose to live that life outside the mainstream. Again, really disappointed that they were going to school, but like I said, we all have our thing.

So, I’m curious what all of you thought. Did you think it was a great film? Do you think it portrayed alternative parenting in a positive light, or did it cast us as freaks? Was it accurate? Was it helpful? Please share and talk to me about your thoughts. I really loved this movie and really want to talk about it.

Pics are mine and pixabay.