I can't stop thinking am I making the wrong decision?
I have recently taken my 5 year old out of preschool, and started to homeschool her due to some physical aggression from my daughters teacher..
I know that my daughter can be hard to handle sometimes, but when she is home I don't take it personal, and still love her and want to help her.
My biggest worry is that the people at her school will not care to look past her temporary lack of self control, (probably mainly my fault) and just brand her as a problem child which will follow her through her years there.
I'm worried by homeschooling my kids they will miss out on a social life.
Now I work from home and my wife stays at home with the kids so we are always spending time together on my break and lunches, but is that enough?
My wife and myself both were not too involved in "school activities" maybe more outcasts than the in-crowd.. so our social life existed outside of school anyways.
My wife was very serious in competitive figure skating, and I was really into music and hung out with people I played music with.
So I'm really worried will this be enough.. I mean we did STILL get the chance to be around other people..
Even if we didn't really fit in, but at least we had that social exposure, and honestly I was motivated to do more in life because of not fitting in. Probably because school seemed petty and I wanted to do something BIGGER.
All of my kids seem to do better due to being at home.
Now my other kids are not at the age of schooling yet,(2 year old and a 9 month old) but they all seem to be more caring, more respectful, and learn a lot faster since we are always teaching them about everything from caring for their siblings to reading and even MATH!
I'm not saying there is something wrong with public schools, but so far they seem to do better by not being at school or daycare and learning bad habits or getting their spirits broken with us not being able to be there.
Please let me know if anyone has had the similar issues, and maybe even some helpful advice.
We don't personally home school but many of our friends do. Their kids are actually more mature and better able to engage in conversation with adults because they don't spend their lives immersed in a class of children their exact same age. Their parents make sure they make friends either through church, sports or other activities. I don't buy into the belief that home school stunts a kids social development. Quite the contrary.
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Nice that's very inspiring.. My wife did mention Sunday schools and stuff which we have avoided due to how young they are. I mean we read every day at home, but I think that was always where I made my friends at an early age now that I think about it.
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It is a tough mental shift especially if you don't know anyone else who home schools. There's also the social pressure of people thinking you're a freak for pulling your kids out of traditional schooling :)
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It's not wrong to want to homeschool your child, however they will be missing out on a lot of the social learning aspect of schooling. You can get around this by getting them involved in a lot of activities, martial arts, arts classes etc... out side of the school setting. Good luck being the best parent you can be.
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Thank you I appreciate it..
That's great advice and I'm sure it will help :D
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I don't have any advice for your stealth because i'm about to become a father myself next month. But I do know that your kid will understand in the long-term what you are doing. Do you plan on keeping her out of the public school system for a long time?
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Congratulations!
It was literally the best thing that ever happend to me and yeah my wife has mentioned private schools when we can afford it.. so maybe around the jr high level we'll probably let them choose..
Thanks for the caring thoughts!
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I was home schooled up until high school, and I turned out okay. Ended up attending an Ivy League university as well. I also have three kids, and we're homeschooling all of them. To me, public schools are prisons at their worst and glorified day cares at best. Give the book "Free to Learn" by Peter Gray a read. The whole unschooling / loose schooling is also something I'm really interested in.
As for socializing, look for local home schooling and unschooling groups in your area. Heck, you might even find some in your own neighborhood. My wife @corinnestokes isn't the most outgoing person so I sometimes I have to encourage her to get out there more. She used the Next Door app and found a bunch of home schooling families really close to us, and she's already been to several play dates.
Bottom line: do what's best for your kids and your family. It'll work out.
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Man I didn't know that.. That's awesome!
I can't believe how common it actually might be..
It's good to know cool people come from that type of environment :D
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"public schools are prisons at their worst and glorified day cares at best"
That's a profoundly negative comment. I realize you are trying to support this parent's decision to home school, but as a public school teacher, I am shocked by your perception. If public schools are so terrible, how is it that we manage to successfully educate so many students? There are many advantages to public school, including exposure to a diverse population full of people with differing opinions. Public school may not be perfect, but there are benefits and drawbacks to each educational experience.
In response to stealthtrader, physical aggression by a teacher is never acceptable. I can understand your desire to home school your child after that experience. I would just encourage you to realize that kind of negative experience is unusual. If, after a couple of years of home schooling, you are reconsidering public school, don't let this initial negative experience make you fearful.
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Hello Susan. I was not speaking about you, personally, or your skills as a public educator. The book I mentioned above by Peter Gray talks about how humans learn through play and not, necessarily, through the education system we have now.
My personal view is that public schools were built on the Prussian model of education, designed to create obedient factory workers. I have very strong feelings about state-sponsored education because the worst atrocities in human history were carried out by those who were indoctrinated to follow authority. IMO, children are successfully educated in spite of the time they spend in school, not because of it.
I'm sorry if my views came off as a personal attack, as that was not my intention. I do think there are amazing teachers working to help others even though they are working in a system that is (IMO) fundamentally broken. I'm sorry if my perception is shocking to you, but I don't think it's without some basis (again, see Peter Gray's work).
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Great post and I truly believe that it's the right decision. How long has the public school system been in need of a complete revamp? There are also so many things that can happen to kids at school and in some cases it can scar kids for life. I remember vividly things that happened to me and I am pretty sure many other readers also can.
In today's society you have so many options and other ways to educate your kids. You can use so many online learning tools plus online courses with the majority of them free.
There was a really popular Ted video you should check out about a young kid who was home schooled called Homeschooling makes me happy:
Although I said it was the right decision I also think it's a brave move and should only be done if you can really put the time in. I travel to different countries all the time working as an ESL teacher, so my daughter who is eleven now also gets her share of homeschooling and after teaching all day sometimes it is the last thing I need to come home to.
Good Luck to you and your family:)
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That is awesome!
This is really inspiring to hear and I'm sure my wife will love to hear this as well :D
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I don't have any kids, but if you have the time and resources to spend extra time with your kids, that sounds magnificent. You can try looking for homeschooling social groups on Facebook or on community noticeboards, or just social things for kids to get involved in generally... martial arts, archery, dancing, dressmaking classes.
One thing to watch out for, is the government. Some governments don't like it when you decide that your children are actually yours to teach and take care of, so be careful.
Good luck and have a great day
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Very good points.. I didn't think of that!
My wife did some mom's book clubs before so I'm sure theres homeschool groups too.. Thanks for that :D
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just have them join some activities like swimming, or any group activities. start with a small group and slowly introduce them to larger group. It's tough for you and for your kids but don't worry, it will be better along the way.
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They really love going to the splashpad here at our park, but yeah we do need to get them into bigger things.
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I've met a lot of parents in the last year who are homeschooling / unschooling their children, and I have to say the difference is monumental. They also employ peaceful parenting techniques and non-violent communication, which is a beautiful thing to watch. They connect with other local homeschooling families through Facebook and sites like MeetUp.com for social activities and educational field trips. When you look at the garbage being taught to kids at public schools today -- essentially teaching them how to do as they're told rather than explore their passions -- I'm not surprised they made such a choice.
There are a few great infographics I've seen that point out many of the benefits of homeschooling / unschooling. (Infographic #1 & Infographic #2). Best wishes to you and the kids! I think you're doing them a HUGE favor!!
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Those are awesome articles thank you!
I showed my wife and it was actually cool to see because we live in different places, but it's also cool to see the growing support behind it :D
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It depends on what the public school is. Not to sound like a war against the poor, but if the school is full of drug dealers and low income people, then you have a good chance of them dragging your interests down from wanting to be an astronaut, to something like liquor store owner.
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Yeah good points.. I thought I was being over protective, but after everyone's experiences I think I'm like the right level of protective..
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I was home schooled up until the 8th grade, and now that I'm an adult I wish I hadn't been. I feel like I missed out on a lot of practical social skills and behaviors and feel it's hampered my quality of life as an adult (I have a hard time relating to people beyond a surface level). It wasn't like I was totally isolated either, as we were involved with a couple homeschooling groups, though they were quite small now that I think about it.
If I had to do it over again, I would prefer if we had been involved with the homeschooling groups, as well as other groups not associated with homeschooling (band doesn't count! Band kids are weirder than home school kids...).
Regular repeated exposure to the same people gets you nowhere. Keep it fresh and exciting I say!
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Lol yeah I know what ya mean.. my dad told me I had to quit football and join band in 9th grade, but I was more worried about impressing the girls.. probably would've been better off learning an instrument tho :/
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My brother was homeschooled and at the age of 14 he came to live with me in Australia. I had him with me until he was 18 then he went back to New Zealand. Apart from the amazing morals ingrained in him , and the way ahead of his time thinking and maturity, he is now 22 and very very successful in the fitness field. Every minute he has to spare is either training, studying for more qualifications, or helping senior citizens with rehab from falls etc.
What home schooling taught me was that you can set standards at home that can't be achieved at school full stop. Of course it is no easy task and my mother told me numerous times it was very difficult at times. But the end result is something incredible if it is executed the right way. I have recently started home schooling my just turned 6yr old. He has been with me at home anyway for the last 3 years because i work at home, so for me the transition is really only time related.
To insure he gets taught in multiple subjects the extra time has to be sacrificed. I make sure to take him out as much as possible to socialize. The beauty of homeschooling is there attitude can't be tainted by the bad apples on the tree. I get comments every time i am in public when he strikes a conversation with someone, they get shocked at how a boy of that age can talk the way they do (maturity wise). I don't want him to lose any opportunities with sport etc, so i make sure he has his martial arts classes etc and if he tells me there is something he wants to try, i let him and leave it up to him to decide if he likes it or not. I think it is a far superior way to teach a child if and only if it is done correctly. You don't need a masters degree to do it, but you need a lot of patience and a willingness to learn yourself.
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That's awesome and I'm sure that he will turn out to be a great person!
That is some great advice too I will absolutely remember this when I run into struggles, and I appreciate the support real :D
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Just saw this post now, though I remember @lukestokes mentioning it to me when he commented a week ago. Homeschooling is fantastic, and it does not mean that your kids will be anti-social. There are plenty of ways to get your kids into social situations without them being in public school. Our kids go to a music and art class for homeschooled kids which they totally love. There are lots of tutorials and co-ops for homeschooled kids that meet anywhere from a few hours a week up to say three days per week. My son also takes karate and is at the karate dojo 5 times per week if we don't have other things going on. (He LOVES karate.) And he is in cub scouts too. My daughter takes ballet and loves it. There are community sports teams and community art/dance classes. As @lukestokes mentioned, I found several other homeschooling families in our neighborhood and we do regular park playdates during the school year. Anyways, just trying to give some examples of other social activities available out there. I love homeschooling and couldn't imagine sending my kids to public school. I don't love every moment, of course, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I wrote a post about some of the things we do for homeschool which you can check out here. Anyways, don't feel bad about homeschooling. You are doing an awesome thing for your kids!
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Keep up the great work @stealthtrader
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