There is a disturbing trend of tribalism, a zeitgeist of unnecessary fear and hatred right now, and a collective unwillingness to stand back and look at ourselves individually and maintain a cautious and open diplomacy of individual and collective experience.
…and both sexes are guilty of perpetuating this culture of fear and conformity.
In particular, what has me most concerned is this wave of what seems to be a “shadow” misandrist- feminism, and the more than obvious, equally toxic resistance against it.
Yet the problem I argue, is not with the backlash and resistance itself…I say that because this was inevitable…the feminists stuck a whole series of thorns in the paw of the patriarchy and now, the fight is on…
The problem is with the “why and how” of such a backlash.
***As a bisexual man with multiple mental illnesses as well as a disability, I can only hope to be objective to a certain degree yet still maintain the truth of my own experience with this crazy world, so here is my attempt at deconstructing this interconnected mess and dysfunction;
There is an unfortunate anti-feminist backlash because of five interwoven causes, some positive, some negative…
- Negative --- Feminism retains a polarizing political appeal, and not a widespread socio-cultural diplomatic appeal (this can be remedied through constant conversation, cross cultural understanding of feminism, feminism for men, and community support)
- Negative --- Feminism is becoming too radicalized, and is placating to an aforementioned “shadow side”, a low standard for the movement based on misandry, feminine tribalism, and self-victimizing (the fact that some readers will immediately skip the rest of the article because they hate what they’re reading is one meager shred of evidence)
- Positive --- Feminism has brought progress and healing for both women and men through #metoo, pussy hats, women’s marches, more women leaders at grassroots and federal levels of democracy
- Positive --- Men are embracing feminism and taking it seriously as a mode of transformation and healing, for themselves, their families, and the world
- Negative --- Non-privileged men and boys who have been continuously disempowered, neglected and abused by the government, by bureaucracy and the culture itself have been equally shunned and judged by radical feminists
.....talk about checking privilege!
It appears that the problem with the resistance against feminism is a systemic one of cause and effect, of paradigm pendulums, and a reoccurring nightmare tribalism, a reciprocal madness, between men and women.
At first, this looks to be a hopeless situation.
Is it just a replaying of the “battle of the sexes” problem. Will it worsen above and beyond the current social, cultural and political showdown that it already is?
Unfortunately it looks to be accelerating, yes.
But there is a hope lingering somewhere, somewhere beneath the hatred and fear and the walls we’ve put up to protect ourselves from each other…
So before my readers can even begin to agree or disagree with this based on grounds of political slant and emotionalism…I strongly emphasize a careful discernment between what I have identified as…
a. Healthy/Positive Feminism
and…
b. Unhealthy/Negative Feminism
based on patterns of disempowerment, oppression and control of both sexes.
I have therefore divided the philosophy and zeitgeist of new-wave feminism into two basic camps, healthy and unhealthy, transcendent and toxic:
Healthy (Transcendent) Feminism
• For women...Empowers women to stand up for and exercise their rights as sovereign human beings, equal to men. Equal pay, reproductive rights, etc. Dismantles patriarchy and toxic macho-masculinity by addressing and promoting the rights and responsibilities of women and men who have been oppressed and/or abused by the patriarchy.
• For men...Empowers men to stand up for women, and to stand up for themselves as healthy, sensitive, kind, vulnerable and loving men. Dismantles patriarchy by self-examination, reprogramming and a releasing (unsubscribing from bogus cultural and social narratives of domination and control) of generational trauma and abuse caused and perpetuated by male ancestors. Empowers men to see beyond the macho-war-hero narrative, and to embrace the inner sacred feminine.
• Empowers men to stand up for, help heal and support women and girls who have been abused.
• Empowers women to stand up for, help heal and support men and boys who have been abused.
• A promotion of nurturance culture, for both women and men.
• Not shame or fear based.
• Not based on control or revenge for past wrongdoings.
• Promotes diplomacy, cooperation and nonviolence, a culture based on constant peaceful activism, civility, altruism, counseling, therapy, catharsis, community support...essentially promoting any and all avenues and outlets for healing, by means of both men and women being vulnerable, patient, open minded and empathetic.
• Reinstates/reinvigorates and promotes the idea of a 21st century "Civil Gentleman" chivalrous culture...hopefully. (aaand yet, this is just a personal hope and fantasy)
Toxic (False) Feminism
• A strictly reactionary and retributive philosophy to combatting the patriarchy.
• Based on fear and shame, and an admonishing and casting out of women who may happen to disagree with toxic feminism and/or support the rights of men.
• A promoting of victimhood and rage towards ALL men... (if you happen to have a penis and a beard...you're still part of the problem)…i.e. rampant misandry.
• A guarantee for men to become allies only if they placate/submit to self-loathing and timid/unassuming behavior in themselves.
• A disempowering of a nurturance culture for men, an assumption that only women deserve this.
• Promotes fierce protection of shared toxic values for groups of women (mob mentality).
• A shared primal assumption that all men, deep down, are unworthy brutes.
• A sort of dysfunctional yin to the yang of macho-culture...reciprocal tribalism, one cannot exist without the other, as they both fuel the other's hatred-based motives and cult-ural narratives.
And to finish this up, I will go over…
The Current System/Paradigm of Macho-Culture
• Cult-ure of rich white men, (men who base their values on the social-darwinistic “John Wayne” culture) are the decision makers, and are able to get away with acts of rape and sexual harassment because of power and stature... ex. Harvey Weinstein and Trump.
• Men who still hold control over the sway of the pendulum in the spectrum of women's rights...ex. neo-liberal and republican congressmen.
• Women get freedoms and rights, but only because certain men in higher seats of power have bothered to take the time to listen to their traumas and enact these policies. "Band-Aid over the war wound" non-progressive, status-quo policies.
• Men and women at the lowest level of morality (old school patriarchy) who believe that men are above women, that women should be subservient and obedient...ex. Trump supporters.
• Men and boys who oppress and demean other men and boys who try to exit the toxic-narratives of the patriarchy.
• Men who abuse, neglect and demean their sons for choosing a life outside the boundaries of their forefathers' cultural narrative.
In conclusion, it is only a fact and common sense that any school of thought or philosophy is like a complex organism...parts (sects) of that organism work very well, while others are degenerative, creating toxins, endangering the organism's health and inhibiting its recovery.
The whole idea behind "you're part of the problem" was noble and still has much merit for justice and liberation.
But many times it becomes a motive for pure hatred and misguided anger, usually directed at those we may happen to have a disagreement with.
It’s childish and needs to stop.
So when it comes to healing our deep collective wounds of violence, greed, fear and hatred, and healing the infections and traumas ingrained and programmed so far beneath the veneer of social justice pride, we must remember...
We're all part of the problem...
Yet all part of the solution.
Peace. <3