How PCOS saved me, in my world...

Hey now, i know what you may be thinking if you are a woman who has been diagnosed with PCOS and you just read that title, probably something along the lines of “saved? What? How? Does this person even know what PCOS is?? Well to answer your questions, assuming that’s what they were, then YES, I am aware of all the awful symptoms PCOS has to offer. Unfortunately, a lot of young women don’t even know they have PCOS, unless your're me. Now what I mean by that is I was once (of course) 18 years old, young and in love (blindly and naively). AH! Here’s where we can finally come to an understanding with my title, I mean only if you’re still trying to grasp why I would even say something like that.  OK! So, growing up I didn’t really get the attention of boys, I wasn’t really the “ideal” girlfriend, looks wise I guess you can say, but hey 100 points for personality am I right? I was, and still am for that matter overweight, but the only difference is now I have grown to love and learn more of me and my body! So cliché but so TRUE!  In other words, “the glow up was and is in FACT REAL!” with that being said I started getting the attention of guys and going on dates and such. Keep in mind, still no official boyfriend, like EVER! Yet, until one day I received a message on Facebook, Ahh yes where young love is found, NOT! Well maybe? Let’s just say not in my case, of course it took me almost 3 years to realize. Any who, we ended up meeting and it was almost an instant connection, I still had my doubts that he didn’t really like the whole BBW as a girlfriend idea, only because I’ve seen what his ex-girlfriends looked like. But I was young and still learning to love myself. He practically had me around his finger. I fell hard for him, (that’s what she said) ahh only jokes. But in all seriousness, I was in love, there was good and there was bad like every relationship.  Let me jump ahead so I can finally get to the part where I still having you asking yourself how could this chronic illness possibly have saved me. Ok, so we already have been dating for almost two years now, and you know how I mentioned there were bad times, well just imagine the worst thing that could have happened in a relationship when you were 18 or 19, and put that in my situation here. Yes, we broke up for about 2 days, or less. NOT EVEN LYING. We fell right back into each other’s arms, which I shouldn’t have, only realizing that now, because once a cheater always a cheater. OOPS! Wasn’t supposed to spill that much tea! Any who, I started realizing that I was constantly being hit with the phrase “I can’t believe you haven’t gotten pregnant” and I really didn’t think much of it, because there’s no way I wanted to get pregnant anyways!  Toward the end of our relationship, I really began to think why I haven’t, I was only thinking this, not because of what could be wrong with me but to possibly have a child with him to save this relationship, DUMB I know I know, don’t attack me please! WHEEW typing it is even cringey. And by the way I was not on birth control either. After we were over, I made an appointment with my doctor, and she hit me with a question that of course every girl has to take time to think like it’s a test! Pretty sure you’ve guessed it by now, but yes “when was your last period?” I was SHOOK, last period? What? I haven’t had a period in 4 years ma’am! Next thing you know I’m taking lots of blood tests and given lots of prescription pills and instructions on how to completely change my life style. All I can think was PAUSE please god just pause all of this madness. Once I was thoroughly informed of what was essentially wrong with me, I couldn’t help but laugh, only because of how ironic everything was to me, this awful disease inessentially helped dodge a bullet, but left me a scar that I have to essentially take care of for the rest of my life!