Captain's Log: Stardate 07/28/2017

I got rid of my Launcher, it had too much access to my phone and, being a third party app, was a security threat.

Is it bad that I'm so paranoid that my natural mental reaction to a customer saying my name is:

I just hope it's not permanent. Well, I mean, it's getting better so it shouldn't be permanent. Two weeks ago, I would completely freeze when it happened and now I'm simply getting eerie chills.

Sgt. Walters once said, "You can either be a sponge or a Rock" in regards to accepting education. I think Acid turned my mind into a sponge, wrung it out, dried it, then tanked it into water.

Essentially, what I'm saying, is it made me into a receptively oversensitive sponge of signals. It's not that certain words or ideas trigger me, as much as the indications poke and jab at a goopy mind.

While everything is familiar, it's also foreign. Every new experience sparks a reminder of an old experience. This clash is paralyzing, especially if it reminds me of old harshly negative experiences.

I'm hopeful, however, that the longer I stay away from Acid, the sooner I return to not being paralyzed. It's frustrating and I hate it. I also don't want to see a psychiatrist to prescribe me something that will take this mental state and cause it to go worst. I trust G-d will help me overcome this issue through faith and time.