Yoga Thoughts: Silence, Savasana, and Independence

Double Exposure by Victor Tondee

1) Silence is restorative.

Moving together in a group without discussion or conversation, without pursuits of the mind, or seeking agreement, allows for an awareness of humanity as flesh and blood, animal, primal, vulnerable.

2) Savasana is good for imaginative healing.

Thursday, I imagined fairies sewing up my energy body with golden thread while others played bells and struck gongs against my flesh. Today, I imagined tiny dancers over my heart, swirling and spinning, coming together and moving apart. 

3) Independence requires knowing yourself.

This might have less to do with yoga itself and more to do with the fact that I was thinking about it during yoga. I've been in the middle of a long, drawn out loss of my best friend. It's no one's fault. It's not a lack of love. It's just that things are broken and I can't fix them. I've allowed myself to admit that and I've grieved it (though that part may not be over) and now I'm recognizing a few things:

-- I'm lonely without her. I have other friends and I love them dearly, but our friendship was unique and special, our understanding of each other deep and sincere. No one can replace her in my heart or mind, no one can bring to me what she did. This is a loneliness that will not be resolved by feeding more humans into my life. This is a loneliness for *her*. 

-- I trust myself more without her. I don't feel the need to ask her advice or opinion before making important decisions. Independence feels lonely but a lot clearer, too. I am stepping into my own authority and there's a bittersweet quality to it. I like standing on my own two feet, but there's a loneliness to it, too.

And that's all I've got today. I need to get to my book writing now. Thanks for entertaining my introspective babble.