The Secret Enemy of Contentment

Contentment is not a new idea, and many preach it.

Is $500k enough? What about $1 million? Is public housing satisfactory? And what of a smaller landed property?

The world is filled with things to want and, if put nicely, to aspire to. And drive is good, of course. But when is what we have ever enough?

That's a trick question. There is no definitive answer. Or is there?

Research on income and happiness shows that above USD$75k a year there is only very marginal increases in happiness for additional earnings. That's sort of an answer, I guess.

But then... What's to say that the small additional increase isn't worth chasing?

And again, even if we assume that it didn't taper off slowly, but just stopped dead at the magic number---75---does everyone really have to reach it to have had enough of happiness?

Thought-provoking questions. To me, at least.

But the words I want to emphasise today are... "at least", which in my opinion are the enemies of contentment. People will tell you that you should look on the bright side to be content, practise gratitude etc. And they're not wrong. But too many people try and are doing it incorrectly. If you've ever told yourself that "at least I have food on my table" or "at least I have legs that can carry me wherever I want" then your effort is admirable but probably not getting you results.

Why? Well, think about it.

Using the phrase "at least" means something. It means that you're forcing yourself to look away from something with which you're dissatisfied. The implication is that the fully accurate version of the sentence would sound more like "I don't have a fast car, but at least, I have an 8-year-old Toyota that works" if we're totally honest with ourselves. That alone is a critical error.

Every time you use those two words, you're drawing your attention to your dissatisfaction before trying to redirect your attention to something that, to you, is only some form of consolation.

Instead, we should be cutting that part right out. Next time, try telling yourself, "I'm glad that my food is yummy and filling", or "being able to take a stroll is such a blessing." Focus solely on what you enjoy about what you are able to do, or what you enjoy about something that you have without accidentally including an unspoken comparison of your current state with a state that you think is better (even if it is!).

I promise it will make a world of difference.