Financial stress can eat you alive. You can’t escape your own bad finances, not in the short term.
Every minute of the day suffers when your finances are weak.
Buying groceries? You have to balance health vs. convenience vs. money, and when you’re poor, that usually means buying unhealthy and/or super inconvenient food.
Putting gas in the car? Poor people know the feeling of being near empty but needing to wait another day before filling up. Scary, not fun.
Navigating social invitations to go out and have fun (and spend money)? Your friends might not understand why you won’t come out to the bar tonight. They think you don’t appreciate the invite, but the truth is that your card would get declined.
It’s awkward over and over. The stress and depression pile up. Hopeless, helplessness, these feels stack up and make a land grab for your entire brain.
The Antidote Could Be So Simple
What if all you have to do is talk about it?
There’s a pressure for us to keep our financial troubles to ourselves, but it doesn’t make sense. It’s just the honest truth that a lot of us (a lot!) are in financial hardship.
When we talk about our finances in an open, non-whiny way, we accomplish a few things:
(1) Honesty - It’s just honest. When we pretend we aren’t poor, we lie by omission. This makes it easier to explain why you won’t go downtown for that concert tonight. Your friends know it isn’t personal.
(2) Strategy - If some of your friends are wealthy, they are exactly the people to admit your own struggles to. Don’t drop financial stress stories on well-to-do acquaintances, that’s not what I mean… I’m saying, if you have close friends that are good with money, they probably have all kinds of useful advice.
(3) Clarity It’s near impossible to look at our own finances clearly when we are poor. Guilt and shame cloud the equation. “I’m terrible, I always fuck this up” is one side of the coin. The other side is huge blind spots - we feel poor, are poor, but then we do stupid shit like spend $100 on alcohol in a weekend. When you speak honestly and clearly about your situation, it helps you to notice your own self-destructive habits.
Sometimes You Just Gotta Vent
My last post about the financial freedom quest was pretty angsty. Nothing crazy, just needed to vent. This is great! I felt better immediately after writing it.
Sometimes we want to pretend that we “grow up” and stop having those feelings. It’s like, this isn’t high school anymore, why would I complain about shit? But the truth is that every now and then we just gotta vent.
If you are struggling with money, you might want to try blogging about it. You might feel better.
What do you do to deal with financial stress?
What I’ve Learned This Week: The Most Powerful Tactic For Reducing Financial Stress is Talking About It! I think this is true with all kinds of stress but we have a fear of discussing money and act like its a dirty topic. People dont want to admit how much they earn whether they are rish or poor.
I agree with your point on admitting it to your rich friends. You want advice from someone who is obviously better at the subject than you are and that goes for anything in life.
You seem to be working hard to turn things around and I'm sure you'll succeed. I wish you all the best.
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Ya wealthy people often have great advice! its important to ask in the right way, so its clear you are only asking for guidance lol.
thanks grizgal, hope your weekend is good
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My weekend is pretty good mate thanks. I hope you are doing ok.
(No idea why eSteem posts pictures on their side- Answers on a postcard)
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lol
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Honesty and openness is key! When we understand reality as it is and we are open about it, we can begin to align our actions with it and what we want to change about it. Good luck to you on your financial journey. I hope you find plenty of revenue generating opportunities, even if they may not be the most interesting uses of your time. Getting financially stable is a key aspect of freedom and creativity.
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Thanks Luke! I appreciate the feedback.
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This helped our family quite a bit. Maybe it can help you as well.
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The only problem with finances is self denial. We tend to think talking about it is exposing our weaknesses. We do not trust others, even financial experts, when it comes to our finances. My take though.
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I trust lots of people with finances lol because I'm so bad at them. so many good books out there these days, even tony robbins has a finance book now!
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Or writing a screenplay about it. :)
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ya I'll have a whole album about personal finance at this rate lol
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I really appreciate this set of posts, matt! But, IMO, you're only tackling this issue from the perspective of the only possible reason you're going through this is because of your shortcomings; and although it's true we all have them I think that not addressing the systemic issues which have created these issues makes this assessment of poverty rather one-sided. FWIW: your take on this issue is coming from the Republican stance on poverty: that it's the individuals's fault! Do you vote Republican, too? Hey, just asking:)
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I mean what else am I supposed to do? I don't see how worrying about systemic issues will make literally any difference in my situation. I have a pretty decent upbringing and a college degree so if anybody deserves sympathy from a systemic viewpoint, it isn't me lol
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Fair enough...I approach this from more of a bodhisattva perspective. That is to say that my own wealth generation would not be as important to me as the long-term wellbeing of all sentient beings, and it's here that the solutions need to be systemic...Wilber's quadrant approach would help, too...Your approach is valid but it's only considering one quadrant, we are entering a time where all 4-quadrants need to be addressed on the issues of poverty and economic sustainability.
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There's a saying in Buddhism, "it's hard for a poor man to be generous"...
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Why are the two things mutually exclusive though? I care about how the social structures of our society impact other people. I just don't give a fuck about how it affects me because the only thing I can actually do is work to improve my own situation.
It's like walking into a rock concert and asking them why they don't play some Bach too. It's not the right time for that thing. Here are some other posts from me that directly address the other quadrants you are thinking about. That stuff is all still happening, but this post series is focused on my own personal finances and how I am trying to improve them.
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I think we both agree that these issues of personal and collective responsibility are not mutually exclusive. This brief exchange has given me a bit more context on your thought processes and why you're focusing on this particular area. Please note, again, that not once did I criticize this personal trajectory--I was questioning the span...Also note that I'm a senior and my perspective on these issues may not be the same as yours...In traditional cultures, seniors would be more concerned about group dynamics as juxtaposed to personal desires.
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Matt I believe you're on the right path. What you should continue to focus on is bettering your struggle, growing a following on social media, then selling affiliate products on making money and things that have worked for you. Big money! It might not come today, but just be patient.
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