SH!T I Wish I Could Say - Part I

While At Work As A Pharmacist

How are you having difficulty swallowing this tiny tablet? Ant Man could swallow it while shrunken! You say because it has sharp edges? Are you serious? It actually hurts your delicate precious throat on the way down? Congrats, you have dipped my already loathsome opinion of humanity to a new low. Good thing we didn't have to rely on the likes of you when we stormed Normandy.

I don't understand your point when you state that, "This never happened before!" What exactly is it that you are implying with that statement, that nothing ever happens for the first time? Who cares if it never happened before, it is happening now!

Why are you dropping off at the 'pick up' window? Can you not read, or do you really not understand the difference in each concept. Or are you just being an inpatient a-hole? By the way, I really do not give a f@ck about your melting ice cream.

You have a plane to catch, you waited until the last second to get your prescription filled that you have had in your possession for three weeks, and this is my problem now? You want me to hurry, but here's the problem - I am hurrying, it's just that we are extremely busy, and you must wait your turn because there is this thing out there - ready for it now? It is called 'other people.' The Queen of England called, she wants her conceit back. Wait, you're telling me you're a woman? Are you sure?

You came in here riddled with neck and face tatoos with three controlled drug prescriptions, and you actually thought that I would fill them? Also, when was the last time you bathed? Can you remember who was President then?

Hey jerkface, I think you should discuss with your doctor about cutting back on the testosterone because if you scream at me one more time I am going to jump over this counter, and strangle you with my bare hands. Then we will see who has the most man juice. Wait, that sounds really horrible.

Hey lady, I am on the phone! Do you not see this thing I am holding up to my ear, which my moving lips are speaking into? I will be with you as soon as I can, but until then please be patient and STFU!

Take this forged prescription, and shove it up your butt.

To be continued ...