Did you not hear what I said?

The sales person didn't listen to me which made no sense considering I had responded to his initial question about what I was looking for and how he could assist me. I was surprised, but I suppose I shouldn't have been; Car salespeople had a certain reputation after all. I found myself just looking at him in disbelief as he led me to a vehicle that was the exact opposite to the one I had described I was interested in. He didn't even get the colour right...But didn't stop telling me how perfect the car would be for my needs the whole way towards it.

I had this experience about 3 months ago when I bought a new car and found it frustrating, insulting and simply typical of today's society. There's so much being said these days, everyone has an opinion and is happy to voice it, no matter whether it's asked for or not, but there's not enough listening; At least in my opinion.

These days it seems people are so keyed on their own agenda that there's no time, or no interest, in listening to others. Most listen only with the intent to reply rather than understand. I believe this is partly due to the the fact people believe their opinion to be the correct one, or the most important. Talking also feeds the ego. But could the failure to listen be detrimental to a person?

Whether a person should talk or listen is situational of course however knowing when to do one and not the other is an important skill in life. Listening at the right time could help gather vital information, convey caring and patience, and of course assist the listener to respond with relevance rather than irrelevance. Being a good listener takes effort and work though. Listening to understand rather than listening to respond is an important skill and fortunately one that is simple to learn, if somewhat harder to do for many...It's easy, just shut your mouth and listen, then respond appropriately to what you understood the other person to have said, then encourage the other person to talk some more. It's amazing how by doing this very simple thing a relationship or interaction can become more valuable.

Of course, there's times when this may not be appropriate, a group of friends at the bar after a sporting event or something like that, however in many scenario's using your two ears and one mouth in the proportion evolution provided them, can pay definite dividends.

That car sales person didn't sell me a car. In fact once he stopped talking long enough for me to get a word in I asked him if he had heard what I had originally described my needs to be. He said yes of course and I asked him to repeat it...Which he could not. I told him I'd go elsewhere, politely, and left.

The importance of listening cannot be overstated. Sure, there's a time for talking also but being an effective listener will pay serious dividends in many of life's situations. The great writer Earnest Hemingway once said "When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen," and I agree with him.