Love usually has limits, as is evident from a large number of divorces and broken relationships. Following a heated discussion on Visionaire: what is unconditional love, and is it conceivable in principle that something like unconditional love exists?
Love and self
Love is inextricably linked to identity, your self. Plato stated that love is recognizing something of yourself in another. But love continues. It can also be keeping weaknesses in another, or just admiring a strong point. So love is more like seeing the other person as yourself. That is why you can only sincerely love if you also care about yourself, and help someone love to love yourself. It is even possible to keep more of someone else than yourself. There are cases known of people who risk their lives or even sacrifice to save someone why they give more than to save themselves.
Unconditional love impossible?
There are conditions for most "unconditional" forms of love. Fellow editor Julie put it as follows:
A father loves his child. But a father says: "As long as you live under my roof, you do so according to my rules!"
Friends say: "I will always be there for you. You can call me in the middle of the night. "But also:" We expect that we can count on you ".
Beloved ones say to each other: "I love you with all my heart and soul forever." And when they marry, they also record what each person brings to the relationship, should love ever pass.
And Jesus says: I and my father love you unconditionally, but then you have to do what I tell you.
If boundaries are exceeded, or the unwritten rules are violated, the "unconditional" love is no longer so unconditional.
Unconditional mutual love is possible
The problem with these examples is that this is not about mutual, equal love. If love is unconditional, accept and love the self of your loved one altogether. So also her or his feelings for you and for others. You love who your loved one was and who she or he will become. You want the best for her or him, that is to say that your beloved is self-realizing, develops into the best person she or he can become.
You do not only love the person as it is now, but also in the future. This also includes absolute honesty with each other. If you hide something, your loved one will sooner or later find out and feel betrayed. On the other hand, openness can also be very hurtful, especially if you do not know each other well yet. On balance, openness is nevertheless better. one secret provokes the other lie, until the trust is totally touched. Without trust no love, only the perverted form of it: jealousy.