Thoughts on Healthy Boundaries and Respect

clayboyn (70) in philosophy • 7 years ago (edited)

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7 years ago by clayboyn (70)

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netuoso (70) · 7 years ago

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eternal.witness (51) · 7 years ago

This post received a 10% vote by @eternal.witness courtesy of @Kubby from the Minnow Support Project ( @minnowsupport ). Join us in Discord.

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dwinblood (73) · 7 years ago

I am all for personal boundaries. I do have a problem with the entire push for "safe spaces" these days as I think it exaggerates the personal boundary concept a lot and is trying to impose fantasy on reality. I didn't see you suggesting such, but I wanted to add my little notes to the discussion. People have their own personal boundaries, the problem is when they think they can force their own concept of personal boundaries upon everyone else. Can you retreat? Can your leave if someone is impacting your boundaries? If someone attempts to impose fantasy land on reality that can become challenging. I actually despise the concept of safe spaces... So if I ever have anyone in my face talking about it, it'll be all I can do to not say "Fuck your safe space!" :) I've seen that concept doing a lot of harm. People need to face reality rather than pretending it doesn't exist or pretending that because they declare an area safe that it suddenly becomes a reality free zone.

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clayboyn (70) · 7 years ago

I agree. I find that the only time I encounter people talking about needing safe spaces etc is usually the same people that wont to force their ideologies on society. Personally I'm very "live and let live" about the whole thing. I'm going to start telling them they have "peace envy." :)

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yusaymon (65) · 7 years ago

I often keep silence when I know it could become a conflict, depending on the person I always tend to be open and respect what the other thinks but I know there is a moment that I should not continue talking about my way of seeing things because the person who listens to me, starts to become a bit violent talking and he would not know how to handle the situation, at other times I get someone who is reciprocal and he gives me his contrary opinion in a nice way ... keep silence at the right time..! I read your post dear friend and finish thinking in that maybe it's time to think more about how I am ... thank you @clayboyn

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clayboyn (70) · 7 years ago

Glad it caused some self reflection. Thanks for checking it out @yusaymon!

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shello (62) · 7 years ago

This is a really insightful post @clayboyn, ot makes me reflect on how I deal with such personal attacks on my being. For myself it is a matter of reframing a situation.

More often than not a disagrement doesn't mean that a person hates me or wants to do harm, just that our beliefs differ from one another.

I'm most critical of myself if anything, so I take critisism with a grain of salt. It's a decent optio to just listen and not fight. People want to be heared, and understood more than "to be right."

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minnowsupport (70) · 7 years ago

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sunravelme (62) · 7 years ago

Boundaries are so important, and so difficult to uphold- both online and off. I have a bad habit of avoiding conflict. This leads to struggles with boundaries occasionally. It's a personal growth area.

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clayboyn (70) · 7 years ago

Sometimes I can't tell if I'm just avoiding conflict or letting people fight their own beliefs.

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sunravelme (62) · 7 years ago

Sometimes it looks like the same thing

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limabeing (56) · 7 years ago

This is exactly why i created girl power and only bounce in and out of deepend the past few days. I think that you've given me more chances than more than a few ppl on steemit and i do hope that my attempts to be open to you have been fruitful/ welcome.

At some point, one never knows where the boundaries of others are until they cross them. For a person like me-- who is both loud and outgoing and also deeeply empathic and analytical boundaries are a mine field. A safe space is essential for me and now i have it. Hopefully that can also lift any burden i put on others with my ME-ness. Peace and Love Dr Strange Clay

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clayboyn (70) · 7 years ago

I try to give everyone all the chances they need unless they start personally attacking me. You don't do that, so thus we have no problem. :)

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limabeing (56) · 7 years ago

Lol hopefully that stays true when i post the epic battle of dr strange clay and captain girlpowa

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dswigle (70) · 7 years ago

Personal boundaries are a must for that place we both frequented at one time. Respect plays a huge role, along with the support and a mutual caring. If we have all three of those in a relationship, we shouldn't have a problem with personal boundaries.

And you shouldn't have to weigh your actions equally if there is mutual respect and caring. It will be automatic. Just as I would never disrespect my parent growing up, I would never disrespect you. I owe it to you to be courteous. Right? Neither one should get out of hand.

If you become an *ss and get out of control, I would walk away. Because I don't want to be that person. That doesn' mean I won't stick up for what I believe, but, when you know someone won't back down.

Pfft. Do I really need this?

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1 vote

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clayboyn (70) · 7 years ago

I agree. I feel it's important to be receptive enough to be empathetic and also rigid enough to walk away. Great outlook.

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jewels3 (57) · 7 years ago

I love the end quote!
Boundaries are such an important thing to learn how to set and keep in place.

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myeasin (57) · 7 years ago

wow amazing post i love it

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abasifreke (67) · 7 years ago

A lot of people are doing that today I guess it's because there are self centered humans or naive. Most of them don't really know when to stop which is so bad.

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clayboyn (70) · 7 years ago

Perhaps it's meant to reinforce our own boundaries as much as it is to help them learn their own.

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bestehemon (42) · 7 years ago

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