Do you give up?

in philosophy •  7 years ago 

Yesterday, someone posted a long comment under my article giving advice on happiness and god. I upvoted it and then spent some time building a reply which happened not to be in line with their comment and then... nothing. Radio silence.

I don't mind getting these kinds of comments. I am the kind of person that if I have the time, I will let the door-knockers in, make some tea and have a discussion. What is interesting however is many people's unwillingness to engage. To me, if they are on some kind of recruitment drive they must be prepared for opposition, some argument, some barriers they must overcome in order to get their message across.

There are some very openly religious people here that will speak their minds, take questions, hear criticism of their views and give well formulated replies. Without animosity or annoyance. I think @creatr does a good job of this from what I have observed in his interactions here. There are others too. We do not need to agree on things to be friends and definitely do not need consensus for a good discussion.

Well before I was born, my mother heard that some Mormons needed a place to stay (a very small town) while they were on mission and since my parents had the room, they welcomed them in. At the very first dinner there were problems (remember this was the late 60s), as they refused to sit at the table and eat. The reason? My father is not white. As the story goes, my grandfather (mother's side) went to their room and said, you either sit and eat with the family and show respect to those who have opened their home to you, or get out of the house.

Grudgingly, they obliged and took their seat at the table. What did they find? My father knew more about their religion than they did. He had an interest in such things when studying and the discussions they had together covered multiple religions, multiple texts and multiple points of view. Many years later, some of those missionaries would drop in from time to time and stay with us. To spend time with my dad.

Having said that, they had no chance of ever converting my father nor anyone else in my family for that matter yet, they still came to see value in the discussions held. There is a great amount of learning that can be done by investigating and having beliefs criticised and viewed from different perspectives. They would have learned much about the holes in their information that existed and many of the invisible barriers to their work they had not noticed prior. My dad had a way of exploring topics that would make people think. He didn't do it to change their minds (however that often happened) he did it for them to build a fuller understanding of their beliefs. Perhaps that means giving up on some or strengthening others.

Discussion is like battle testing ideas, finding weak points to reinforce, broken pieces to discard or repair and the strengths to bolster argument and resolution. Many are unwilling to partake in these discussions these days. They silo themselves into what they believe to be right and when opposition is met, turn the other way. It is easy to do, there is always another person to approach, another door to knock upon, or article on which to comment. But, if one believes in something but does not have the resolve to delve deeper or face argument, how strong can those beliefs be?

It seems at times like a car seller trying to sell cars.

Sales: 'Wanna buy a car?'
Customer: 'No'
Sales person walks away.

I do not always have time to engage deeply with those that comment but I do try to add a valuable response if they have provided one also. If people are going to try and sell their ideas, push their views and tell me what 'the truth is' and 'the only way', they best be prepared for some opposition.

Again, I have nothing against those that want to discuss their beliefs and ideas, in fact I encourage it. In my opinion, more openness and investigation into these things will uncover and destroy much of the misunderstanding, anger, fear and violence in the world. But it will take a fair amount of investment and energy to get to a point where many different people can sit together, disagree heavily in theory but be full of love for each other in reality.

I am willing to be part of the discussion that moves it that way, even though I think I am unlikely to ever see that day come myself.

Taraz
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I'm sure there are a few that drop a comment and then never look back. That in real life would be the awkward silence at a table.
However from my short experience most of the community is pretty engaging and likes to share and I love that. I love to engage into talks on topics I have some interest in. I should def out the sports tag more often.
Now I remember that I left a few comments ending in a question that never got an answer lol

This post received a 1.9% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @kingmotan! For more information, click here!

It happens. sometimes I don't answer either, I do get called away often by work or my baby.

You are right, most are engaging here well, or at least those that are engaging get seen. It is the door-knocking comments I speak of here. drop and run. Perhaps they do it for the upvote.

It could be. From what you observed are they followers or simply door knockers, as you call them 🤣?

A follower. but this was only the most recent case which got me thinking. I think it is quite common here. Do you get them?

I would love to get them. I'm at a point where any publicity is good publicity.
I have only a few dozen followers, only 10% view my posts and 1% comment or upvote so yours is a problem I would like to have

It takes time, I have been posting like this for 6 months now. By the looks of things though you are moving along well. It took me over 2 months to get 100 followers I think. Lately, with all of the new members it has sped up. The last 300 or so have come in the last month.

Engage well with the content you are interested in and you will find not only followers, but quality followers. The quality is more important than the number.

For me it has much more to do with the fact that there is just too much going on at steemit and I'm spread really thin and then I'll get swamped with a bunch of comments right as I'm getting busy in my 3D life, and also commenting is not the most ideal place to have a discussion. I prefer the chats to have real discussions (that's why I started a discord channel, for people who want to develop deeper connections with their fellow steemians. check out my most recent post for a link). Really nice story though, I love a sense of community where this sort of interaction occurs easily.

I have to say, this is a great post! Having different opinions while in a discussion is basically having a competition while you represent different teams, and it'll be boring if one of them took a fall and just throws the towel. It's also quite a cowardly behaviour. I personally really like having a conversation, or a debate, with someone who hold a different view on the subject, as long as they don't get all nasty like some people on other social media platforms.

That is a good way to picture it, I might steal it sometime :)

I enjoy the open discussion too.

Haha go ahead! I don't think I'm the first one that made that comparison, so... :p

Thank you, I totally agree! Upvoted and followed 😀

This post gets you a follow. You have hit the bulls-eye. Props to you, Sir.

It is much appreciated. Thank you.

That was a Brilliant post as ever!!! 🕉

Welcome back and thank you :)

Apologetics and evangelism takes patience. Engaging in people is a good thing and it is great too. I am sad too when people do not reply to me on Facebook. It is a lot of work and I can put in a lot of work and like get nothing out of it and that makes me sad.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Facebook? What is that? ;)

I spent a lot of time and effort developing work for facebook, linkedin twitter etc over the years. Very little engagement.

Post a picture of a kitten though and watch the flood.

Well said.
The times we are living in really need engagement across ideologies and opinions. I've been looking for bridges with people who have differing points of view, politically and nutritionally. It seems that conversation is a lost art and many fall into conflict instead of trying to understand or hear about differences.
I've always been curious about those who are different than I am and I'll continue to look for the bridges to get to know someone better.