Do you give up?

Yesterday, someone posted a long comment under my article giving advice on happiness and god. I upvoted it and then spent some time building a reply which happened not to be in line with their comment and then... nothing. Radio silence.

I don't mind getting these kinds of comments. I am the kind of person that if I have the time, I will let the door-knockers in, make some tea and have a discussion. What is interesting however is many people's unwillingness to engage. To me, if they are on some kind of recruitment drive they must be prepared for opposition, some argument, some barriers they must overcome in order to get their message across.

There are some very openly religious people here that will speak their minds, take questions, hear criticism of their views and give well formulated replies. Without animosity or annoyance. I think @creatr does a good job of this from what I have observed in his interactions here. There are others too. We do not need to agree on things to be friends and definitely do not need consensus for a good discussion.

Well before I was born, my mother heard that some Mormons needed a place to stay (a very small town) while they were on mission and since my parents had the room, they welcomed them in. At the very first dinner there were problems (remember this was the late 60s), as they refused to sit at the table and eat. The reason? My father is not white. As the story goes, my grandfather (mother's side) went to their room and said, you either sit and eat with the family and show respect to those who have opened their home to you, or get out of the house.

Grudgingly, they obliged and took their seat at the table. What did they find? My father knew more about their religion than they did. He had an interest in such things when studying and the discussions they had together covered multiple religions, multiple texts and multiple points of view. Many years later, some of those missionaries would drop in from time to time and stay with us. To spend time with my dad.

Having said that, they had no chance of ever converting my father nor anyone else in my family for that matter yet, they still came to see value in the discussions held. There is a great amount of learning that can be done by investigating and having beliefs criticised and viewed from different perspectives. They would have learned much about the holes in their information that existed and many of the invisible barriers to their work they had not noticed prior. My dad had a way of exploring topics that would make people think. He didn't do it to change their minds (however that often happened) he did it for them to build a fuller understanding of their beliefs. Perhaps that means giving up on some or strengthening others.

Discussion is like battle testing ideas, finding weak points to reinforce, broken pieces to discard or repair and the strengths to bolster argument and resolution. Many are unwilling to partake in these discussions these days. They silo themselves into what they believe to be right and when opposition is met, turn the other way. It is easy to do, there is always another person to approach, another door to knock upon, or article on which to comment. But, if one believes in something but does not have the resolve to delve deeper or face argument, how strong can those beliefs be?

It seems at times like a car seller trying to sell cars.

Sales: 'Wanna buy a car?'
Customer: 'No'
Sales person walks away.

I do not always have time to engage deeply with those that comment but I do try to add a valuable response if they have provided one also. If people are going to try and sell their ideas, push their views and tell me what 'the truth is' and 'the only way', they best be prepared for some opposition.

Again, I have nothing against those that want to discuss their beliefs and ideas, in fact I encourage it. In my opinion, more openness and investigation into these things will uncover and destroy much of the misunderstanding, anger, fear and violence in the world. But it will take a fair amount of investment and energy to get to a point where many different people can sit together, disagree heavily in theory but be full of love for each other in reality.

I am willing to be part of the discussion that moves it that way, even though I think I am unlikely to ever see that day come myself.

Taraz
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