Lies for a better child

I am in two minds about this post, do I take a serious look or, do I take a satirical view of how children can be brainwashed. I am free writing and will throw some links in if I can find some quickly. I might take a hybrid approach, see what comes up and spin some other articles from it.

Firstly, considering whether or not it is possible to brainwash something doesn't take much thought as essentially, we all are programmed to believe something over other things without actually doing much of the thought on it ourselves. If our beliefs can be manipulated and installed, our resulting actions are going to fall into line also. People are raised by their family, friends and society to subscribe to any number of things from religion and politics, to economic understanding or which football team to support.

It isn't hard to comprehend the risks in having this kind of power over impressionable minds considering that a parent is put into a default authoritative position, and most consider themselves worthy and their ideas valid to teach their children. This doesn't matter if you want to teach your child to be loving and compassionate or, have deep seeded hatred for another race or religion. No child is born inherently racist nor a subscriber to any religious dogma, it is all introduced.

As a kid I had an idea that I would be able to brainwash my little sister to believe certain things by just lying to her enough. I didn't actually do this but I did tease her a lot which although natural for siblings under 10, perhaps not a great method looking back. My largely untested hypothesis however was that if I could convince my sister she did something or, something happened to her in the past well enough, she would tell herself that it actually happened and walk into the future with the memory of it.

We didn't go on holidays when we were young for financial reasons, so I considered telling my sister that we did, that we had been here and there and although she didn't remember it, I would be able to add enough detail that she would be able to flesh out and they would become a part of her memory. Perhaps, rather than have a childhood of no holidays, she would grow to believe that there were some but, her memory of them wasn't great.

There have been numerous cases that have come to light where people have been implanted with false memories of childhood abuse through suggestion from their psychotherapists. The approach is that the therapist says that the reason for the problems they have are because of some trauma and they are repressing the memories and then lead them down a garden path of suggested memories over time until they believe the events happened. This has destroyed lives.

But, can false memories be used to help us perform better? For example, could the same process be used to develop a stronger trait of delaying gratification by suggesting from a young age and reminding of false times that the child waited and received reward for being patient. Or, the times that they worked hard before and were rewarded for the effort they put in? I am not saying that this is necessarily a good focus but, it does seem that leading a child down a garden path that leads to improved performance is possible, considering it can work in the reverse.

It is relatively easy for example to influence on a child's creativity levels negatively by doing things like punishing their questions or, answering their questions without giving them space to think. School is a creativity killer. Sitting them in front of screens is the worst destroyer of creativity as the questions aren't raised nor is the space to develop ones own views and in my opinion, this is currently high on the manipulations for the future list but, time will tell how large an impact it will make. I suspect, very large in not only creative pursuits but when it comes to ability to cope in real world environments and managing emotional positions. More pills for the depressed are going to be needed.

It is also quite easy to see if a child was for example born into a militant family with very strong views about some religious doctrine and what should happen to non-believers, how the chances of them acting upon their beliefs can be increased. Most people in this world despite their many objections, do not objectively review what they believe to test its validity against other possibilities. They assume they are right and they also assume that the authority has done the duty of care to battle test their theories. Nope, very few have as for the most part, there is no way to test religious dogma, just have faith that it is all correct. Well, pick and choose the bits that suit you, when it is convenient to do so.

Although false memories can be implanted, real memories can also be buried or manipulated be reframing, such as what a pedophile might do in the grooming of a victim. Rather than present what is actually happening, it is presented as a game or a duty or some other view to lower the barriers so they can get away with the sickest of actions, the abuse of children. But, I want to go into that at another time perhaps.

Yet, it does raise a point. Would it be considered abuse to implant memories into a child even if they lead to improved performance and a better quality of life, does it harm them not to know the truth of their childhood if the aggregate good is higher than the likely alternative? Tough question considering it is a part of the process anyway as we tell our children things like they need good grades at school in order to get a good job and have a happy life. How many are happy with the job they have? You?

We brainwash our children to try to come into line with what we think is valuable and what we believe is a high quality of life even though we ourselves may not be living up to our own ideals. Much like any religious or political dogma. If it is wrong to brainwash children in the hope of better performance, than all brainwashing must be ceased right? That includes all of the religious positioning and of course, all lead by example activities that might demonstrate to the child a certain position over another. Hmmm, not possible unless, we raise children in a box with no windows.

There is of course the known lie vs unintended lie where one lies through false beliefs. If I believe what I am saying is the truth, it is not a lie no matter f it is actually incorrect. However, my child is going to learn and act upon an incorrect belief. It gets a bit tricky considering when it comes to many of our beliefs, they are actually unprovable yet, we tend to get very, very attached and defensive over them and feel that others, especially our children, should fall into line.

This brings us back to the killer of creativity as essentially if we impose our views on a child and tell them right from wrong, they are going to form their understanding of the world from that position. In some cases this is going to be a very helpful and healthy position to act from but in others, potentially very, very harmful and limiting of their potential. Because they will have a certain view of the world, they are unlikely to question and explore alternatives, we have most likely limited their capacity to experience.

I find this interesting considering that the way we raise our children is going to affect the direction the entire world takes yet, most parents do what their parents did for the most part. With all of the other pressures of life to compete with to earn money, find time, be entertained, exercise or live a world of social media and farmville, the children I think are suffering. Obesity is increasing, emotional instability is rife and depression among adolescents is at an all time high. They have been brainwashed already but, it isn't in the way we may have wished if we had been paying attention.

There are some parents who unschool their kids, home school, or do what they think will benefit their children the most. It will have an effect and there will be pros and cons but, it is another type of brainwashing with the hope that it leads to a better quality of life or, higher performance.

There are many views on this that i would like to explore more but I have been writing this while my daughter took her nap and, she is now up and wanting to play, learn and most likely, be brainwashed by me. Will I lie to her in the hope it will improve her life? Don't all parents lie to their children in some way or another?

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]