seven habits, January

We are what repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

I am not one to admit honestly to myself that I lack in certain aspects. After all, I’m charmingly witty and a handsome young man, with little to no issue save for the candor and swagger in my speech and step. Yet, I feel unfulfilled – unsatisfied at times, as if my inner thoughts do not align with my outer actions. Yes, a sort of cognitive dissonance plagues me at times, which is why I struggle to decline in situations where I’m certain a scheme is at play, or voice my opinion when a group takes a course of action, while I have something better in mind – at least, in my humble opinion. Even now, I can reflect that perhaps my greatest suggestions have not been to others and their shortcomings, but a sort of monologue with my own insecurity, in the form of constant reprimand and advice from yours truly. Don’t misunderstand, I have traits I can take pride in, but it seems that beneath the veneer of a mysterious and ambitious protagonist, I am a plucky kid with a few lazy habits. I hope to turn them on their head, because admittedly, I am much further today than I was yesterday. I still need to sleep earlier and get ahead on my studies, face the music and tell people how I really feel, and maybe admit to myself that all this dogma is just not how I’d like to lead my life. I still appreciate that there is more to learn, and that the journey’s far from over. It’s no exaggeration to say, I’m scared as shit but everything will be alright.