Bird Speak

What are you looking at? Did I say you could take my picture? How would you feel if I just flew in to your bedroom and stuck a camera in you face saying, look at the human, ohhh look at the pretty human. I swear you humans are the worst, you act like you own the planet. And what's up with all those stupid cars you're driving around in always in a hurry. You know, you really should slow down and smell the roses, I heard one of you guys say that once while I was out grocery shopping over at the corn Grove.

Speaking of corn. What the hell have you stupid humans done to it. The last few years it simply has no flavor. I remember the corn we used to get before all the airplanes flying over it spraying that funny smelling water on it, mmm, mmm was that stuff sweet and loaded with those sweet tasting locust and worms. Man what I'd give to have some of that old time corn.

We used to have it made until you humans started showed up racing around in those vehicles. It's a real live death trap out there now. Last week my cousin Ralph got hit by a truck as he impulsively jumped off a branch chasing a moth that flew by. The only good thing I've seen out of you humans is the bug fest where you guys park those smoke puking machines. Yeah that's why you see so many of us hanging out at the store where you guys stop and throw your trash out and drive away mad.

We used to just hang out in trees. Now we sit around on those vibrating black things you stuck on the trees without limbs. I swear there's something in those lines that's causing us all to be so sick all the time. Sometimes they make funny crackling noises and if your in the wrong place, Zip, you're dead.

I guess there's nothing we can do about it though. After all I'm just a bird. I eat bugs. I do wish tho you humans would go back to where you came from tho and quit spraying all that funny smelling water all over the fields. If you guys were gone then all we'd have to worry about are cats.

Stupid humans... You can't fix stupid tho. Figure it out humans or one day you turn around and none of us will be here including you. Yeah you.

Raven image: @traciyork
Cat Image: Mr Cat