I grew up in an environment where I learned to be afraid to speak my truth and to show who I really was. When I was eighteen, after being considered the "Ugly Duckling" throughout my school career, I finally grew into my body. I decided to take modeling classes, and began working with local photographers. I probably could have made a living with modeling. Not to toot my own horn, but I was good at it. Alas, my career was short lived due to a spiritual awakening that led me to anarchy. But I have to give credit to modeling for helping me break out of my shell so I could become the person and activist I am today.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/10584035_10152595152147180_837175479441687603_n.jpg?oh=209c73af4e677896829f0e37e6a2af19&oe=5A33C611)
Modeling helped me to become comfortable in my own skin. After I started working in front of the camera, my social anxiety started to drop.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/171811_10150104666652180_2518546_o.jpg?oh=b28c2d57ac1424457f59e56b754ad105&oe=5A3174AF)
Modeling became an art. As I became more familiar with my own body and the camera, I learned different techniques that would make the picture more valuable. I started to envision the camera as a canvas, and my body was the paint brush.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/67608_460491122179_8340426_n.jpg?oh=94c43397f2a057748ecd2596841549fd&oe=5A342658)
I encourage people to get out of their comfort zone because it can mean so much to a person's self-esteem. It's also a great opportunity to make mistakes and to learn. Occasionally I was told to tone my facial expressions down because they looked too fake. That helped me learn to authentically express myself. That was a simple, yet valuable lesson that I now use on a daily basis.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/172876_10150111453232180_4832910_o.jpg?oh=6bd097068710f42b1f8dcbea819f4755&oe=5A3451FD)
Modeling taught me that imperfections aren't a bad thing, that it shows you're human. I never liked the photoshopped images where the model ended up looking like a doll. I became comfortable with my imperfections and mistakes through my modeling career, like this photo above where neither I or the photographer noticed my zipper was down. I still consider this to be one of my favorite shots, zipper down and all.
Occasionally I'd get a little risky with how much skin I showed. I probably was sexualizing myself, and that was ok. I didn't mind showing off my body a little. I don't regret it, though I'd probably make some better decisions if I was still modeling.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/1916860_170963917179_3910429_n.jpg?oh=91449b8e3429fd92bb0e37f634217c29&oe=5A1EB1F3)
The picture above was actually from my first modeling shoot when I was eighteen. I was extremely camera shy, and luckily had a photographer that helped me through the entire shoot. After I saw the photos, I realized there was nothing to be shy about.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/10246421_10152303994322180_3474390647356687801_n.jpg?oh=73afbf80d63e236c4c28e90c74d50152&oe=5A340BE0)
I loved learning about lighting during shoots. I think some of the most beautiful photographs are of a woman's back, and it was really neat to see how photographers can get a perfect shot of the curves.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/21078366_10155527013867180_4390576026038078703_n.jpg?oh=381ea236736587d9323caa3d9b0950b8&oe=5A131B90)
It's fun to go back and to look at these photos because I can see through different shots and lighting how my face has changed since these photos were taken. I was pretty young when most of these photos were taken. I had no idea where I would be almost 10 years from then. I had no idea that breaking out of my socially awkward shell through modeling would lead me to the path of anarchism and activism.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15781743_10154799154282180_635623581571463993_n.jpg?oh=06232508ffd2516ccbe65bdd8645f5b0&oe=5A23FA47)
I am stopping by to tell you about this "new" hype coin:
The exchange with the biggest volume of EmberCoin at the moment: https://www.cryptopia.co.nz/Register?referrer=Bitcoinercph
Here is the price chart of EmberCoin:
https://coinmarketcap.com/currencies/embercoin/#charts
https://steemit.com/embercoin/@lasseehlers/embercoin-the-psychology-of-embercoin-1000x-before-1-of-november-2017
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Wow.
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I really like the zipper shot although I didn't notice the zipper being down until I read it. Learning to be afraid to speak your truth is unfortunately something I can relate to and I'm afraid that goes for a lot of people. Nice post!
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Beautifully written article, beautiful pictures. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. And I love your necklace and tattoo, life can be good medicine my sister ;)
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WAW. Blown away, You look amazing Macey, gj,
And def tnx for sharing ;) :D
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Great taste in color selection ..
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Hey Macey! I made it to Acapulco, Mexico! I'm looking for a place for rent near $100 a month. Any suggestions?
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Hi Macey,
Probably don't remember me from Jeff's conferance 2017.
I spoke about human rights.
Well, will be in Aca for Halloween, hope to see you again.
Randall
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So true and straight from the heart and experience. Your posts carry direct learning from life experiences and hence I have already read 3-4 posts from you today. Looking from more such piece of writing.
And I would like to highlight two phrases which I loved the most
1. I encourage people to get out of their comfort zone because it can mean so much to a
person's self-esteem. It's also a great opportunity to make mistakes and to learn.
2. Free yourself by doing something that scares you. You never know where it may lead you.
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