History of present illness

Personalizing unexpected events,
puts me in a dilemma,
Since it fills my mind with intentions,
At least that is my new lemma.
But with no dreams, I don't connect,
and lose the social rhythm,
Isn't that called being schizoid,
or is that existentialism?
Whatever the means, whatever the mode,
one thing to me is clear,
this brain just yearns for abstract thought,
with the burden of a forlorn heart to bear.