Hello, fellow steemians, sorry I have not been posting for some while, as a student and an entrepreneur, what more can make ones life in Nigeria?
I would be finishing up my piece of war from the view point of a dying soldier. Kindly read and upvote
And i held on to the light of my memories, good, happy memories of my family.
And the good memory ran into memories of bloodshed, battle cries, flying bodies, I frantically tried to shut of the insanity.
And i fell into a hopeless mirage, walking into a field so green,
a family so happy, faces filled with smiles.
And the darkness crept in again, green turned black,
smiles became tears, loud bitter cries.
And i wept for pains and tears choked me,
the contract I signed floating before me like a feather in the air.
The contract was in red, dripping red ink,
was that my blood? Tears turned to fear.
And i thought of how it all began, the joy of being a hero, the joy of being a protector.
But it last not for long, for the battle cries drowned that joy.
And this is the prayer of a fallen soldier- a hero one day, a dead man the next,
This is my creed; I am a soldier, warrior by choice, In this life and the next.
Hmmm, nice poetry...
I observe a rise and fall in intonation and then a sudden rise again on the last line.
At first it was a steady rise in form of sharp events around and then it drops tactically into pity and unhappiness.
One would however imagine that the poem ends on a sad note until the last line where the narrator actually seems to know his calling.
And by far the best line
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Nice critic. You really understand the complexity of the poem. You need to read the part 1 to get a crystalized picture of the soldiers dilemma. Thanks for reading though.
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Ahh, Not a critic, you got me wrong there bro.
i simply analysed the poem,
i don't know how to critic,
I'm just a poet myself.
Apropos: i don't see anything wrong with your poetry
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