Our barrier
original poetry
I am waiting for you
at the barrier between us
On the underside of the horizon's slope
I cling to boundaries as comforts.
The summit of ecstasy now below me,
its bald lake is still frigid.
Unsanguine, its pleasures are meaningless,
while I wait for you.
My face becomes a nocturne of hardships
through years compressed.
The barrier rains into the lake,
and part of me slides through droplets.
My hands, my thighs: transparencies of fire
to mingle with time's clear flame.
While I wait for you
at the place
where the barrier between us
dissolves.
Written by
@d-pend
4/5/18
.
Photos by
Travis Favretto
.1 — "Blue Road Farmhouse"
2 — "Crisp Point Sunset"
3 — "Cliffs of Manitoulin"
LIKE IT!!
It reminds me a good and wise proverb, it's not in Enlgish in original, so sorry for possible bad translation:
"If there's a distance of 10 steps between you and another person, make 5 steps by yourself, if she(he) doesn't make other 5 steps by herself, then turn back and go away - there will be no future with her".
It's really so, 2 people are always guilty in the "distance" between them, and it's their commin mission to overcome it and destroy the bareer. If only one of them wants it - no success.
P.S
I want to ask what you think, but I won't-)
because I know you have dozens of comments and too little time to reply them all-)
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The wonder of Steemit--scrolling around finding bits and pieces, photos, snatches of ideas--and then this. Words can be hard and unbending. But not here. They're soft, and yield to your intention. A lovely poem. And the pictures...arresting.
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That was beautiful and spot-on!
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Hmm ... this was a very satisfying romantic write. The longing is palpable but exquisitely expressed.
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Spring does weird things doesn't it? random scraps of longing just seem to pop up unexpected and so much like rocks to stumble on ...
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Whatta an amazing lines with deep meaning to describe the love in a more beautiful way.
Thank you so much for giving us some amazing thoughts Brother Daniel :)
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Thank you for this meaningful poem @d-pend. I see hope for the barrier to dissolve. It seems that in your poems about a third of the way down I see something like this:
It's like the poem is on a journey but unsatisfied because the reader has not crossed over the barrier even though it really doesn't exist anymore. This is a brilliant allegory. I enjoyed reading it and wouldn't mind to hear a part 2. But if this is the end it is fine with me. I will imagine my own ending...
smile
@mineopoly
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Wow! Deep reflections from you @d-pend. I don't know when I'll get to this level. Maybe I'm still too young to have this kind of reflection. I dropped a poem on my blog 2days ago. I hope you'll check it out and rewrite it for me. It's about smile and laughter. Thank you
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Poetry lyrics are very nice
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Wow, once again a wonderful emotions, in form of poetry.
I see the love emotion behind your poetry.
Your poetry is at a very different level so I had to read it twice or sometimes thrice to learn something from it.
Your contribution to poetry is amazing sir.
We are blessed to have you with us on steemschools.
Keep up the good work.
We win only Together
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https://steemit.com/image/@rasidulislam0433/girl-poem
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I must confess this poetry is strong that your soul will never seize to soar and rehabilitated. This is wonderful.
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It's also timely considering the current environment...
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Nice poetry, beautiful writing, good post, thanks for sharing
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nice post
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There's something in this poem that really speaks to me and makes me emotional.
My new favorite piece of yours, for sure!
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I felt this poem being all about eternal form of love, that is different from love between two people. Going through this life, being just a passerby ("unsanguine", the feeling of experiencing a short moment of love that is waiting for us there, beyond), we're slowly approaching the barrier, the last destination, before finally meeting with what we are ment to be.
I loved the lines:
My face becomes a nocturne of hardships
through years compressed.
They vividly describe the temporary nature of our lives here, on earth.
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Wow this is beautiful.This line blew me away:
I can feel the intense of longing and how much the speaker yearns for the other's presence.
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Nice One Sir!
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A good poem, such as this, is like a Rorschach test -- we see in it, what we bring to it. And, because I have fraught race relations on my mind, and political enmities, this is what I see in achingly beautiful lines like these:
Also, as an answer to all that is temporal, I turn to the spiritual... and think of a justly famous verse, by Muslim mystic poet, Rumi:
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You have collected your daily Power Ups! Your posts received total upvotes worth of 7.8$.
Learn how to power up smart here!
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The opening of this poem is so subtle and deep... like it so much...
And it become deeper when we arrived at the of the poem "While I wait for you//at the place//where the barrier between us//dissolves."
Thanks for sharing....😍😍
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I presume this is the season of love. Assuming I read your poem well. Well, it is all about interpretation. That said, it struck a chord with me, especially:
"While I wait for you
at the place
where the barrier between us
dissolves."
Perhaps it struck me with such force because it sounds like something I would want to write. As usual man. Great work.
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Sweet in sound, solid in dialectics. Thank you for the share!
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