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Dear @endless.drugs - to echo some of the other comments here, the shit comes in waves and sometimes you've gotta wipeout hard, learn the lessons, adjust, and just keep holding on until your head rises above the water again and the seas calm down. You have been through a lot at the age of 18 - and as much as you have dealt with, it seems you are learning the things you need to learn from these awful experiences. IE you know the relationship with your GF was not healthy and that some of your friends were putting themselves into very risky situations and sadly, paid the ultimate price. That perspective is so important. Things will get better, I promise you, but it will take some work and internal discipline of mastering the mind - and that work is daily. Remember - deep breaths, keep writing, and always reach out to your community - online or in person. We've got your back. And if you need to do some seemingly weird shit - like standing outside and just screaming at the top of your lungs to get it out, running naked around the farm, or hitching a ride into the city to sing and dance in front of strangers on city streets. Just do it. Listen to your gut first, heart second, mind third. Sending all the love - Heather

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Dude, man up. Everything in life goes in wave cycles, and the retracting waves (holes) can be deep and painfull, but that is just life. What goes down will go up again, and vice versa. The ying/yang as above so below. Try to enjoy the good things, and know that life can not always be sunshine and butterfly’s. Treat your bad trip as an experience, try to look at it from a different perspective and don’t forget to breathe. Things will be better someday. Just be patient

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Invite me to that community, i will be more then happy to join. Im a supporter of novorussia

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That is some rough shit and to pile a bad trip on it can't be easy.

This doesn't rise to the level of stuff that you are dealing with but I once had a friend drop a story about being diddled as a kid by some baby sitter after we had split 10 grams of mushrooms and that really screwed my head up for a while.

I know that I don't know you but if this might help I will say that I came up in a bad area and I ran with some bad crowds when I was in my teens and 20s. I had friends get shot, stabbed, od, and one died when he got too drunk and tried to walk home and stumbled in front of a truck. It is hard to keep on going after that type of stuff but that is the burden which those of us who keep on surviving have to bare, I think. From the things that I have gone through, I can tell you that it gets eaiser with time but the sense of loss doesn't ever go all the way away. The loss becomes part of us, it shapes who we are and how we move forward.

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What is this so nice post

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