Hidden forbidden, spoken nil
Prevent event, conceal still
Triggered rigger, kicked bass drum
Unheralded inherited, guilt guise numb
Clamant Claimant, deafens still
Tinnire veneer, ceaseless shrill
Running stunning, deferred some
Punning shunning, soon succumb
Echo chamber, laden fill
Release gain piece, free will nil
Surrounded impounded, spiralled undone
Fraught caught naught, for not the one.
Wonderful!
Your poem reminds me of Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky," in that it is fantastic FUN to read, playful, a slippery fish the mind can't quite catch.
I attended the Forward Poetry Prize Readings, of 2014, and I remember head judge Jeremy Paxman railing at poets who "connive at their own irrelevance," writing only for other poets, not for ordinary people. He explained how brilliant poems, like WH Auden's "Night Mail" endure because they are so much fun for ordinary people to read.
Your poem bridges the gap between rigor and simplicity, in that it is challenging enough that serious poets will admire it, but it is fun and appealing enough that ordinary people will also enjoy it. :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Jabberwocky! Wow that's a pretty steep compliment, I'm not sure it's deserved with this impulsive write, but I do conceal aspirations of writing something that I edit once or twice before I post (or even printing some cryptic tongue twisters one day).
Your jabberwocky reference reminded me of one such impulsive upload. This one. Sometimes it's hard reading back and seeing uneditable poems, but it's not bad for the ego to learn to just let these things go.
https://steemit.com/art/@girlbeforemirror/dear-mirror-day-7-steemit-poetry-school-100-day-poetry-challenge
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Lol. How funny you wrote about Alice three months ago!
I'm glad you decided to love your younger self. It's so easy not to!
For if you love the way you were,
You can love the way you are;
The hate you had becomes a blur
And you'll release your inner star. :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
blahdiblahdiblahblah < Epic! onehumanbasket < make that two I have reached my tolerance point today <3
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Thanks for checking in so much lately tyge. Congratulations on the 100 day completion.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Ty love <3 Gina bot is helping me keep track of you :)
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Tongue tied in rhyme, this pretty accurately captures how I feel after spending ages trying to write a poem which just won't come... at least you have this tantalising piece to show for your efforts ;) Great to read over just to enjoy all the different linguistic tools at work. Nicely done!
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
Complicated but yet deep with emotional essence. We are free beings but yes we are stuck in the world of thoughts and sometimes we want to come out of that window of thought but it reflects as we are closed in it. We feel free when we can become free from our suppressive thoughts.
Thanks for sharing this poetry with us and wishing you an great day. Stay blessed. 🙂
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit
nice post
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit