listening to me

do you believe in love? do you believe in transcendental experiences?
do you believe in telepathy? how all of us have inbuilt psychic abilities?
the halfway switch flicked, one always wonders when do sides change?
call it stockholm syndrome, i am thrilled it happened.
these nights are treasured, these nights will remain.
knowing you will be near, knowing you will be waiting,
for our energies to flow through each other.
one look, one smile, one wink,
and the strumming begins -
SCOOP.
chug it, chug gua.

underneath the Tree, sitting in bamboo huts,
on hot evenings where the wind fails us;
when the rain showers us with affection;
with guests from faraway lands to friends from the fighter village,
perched on motorbikes and stilts,
riding with our surrendered arms,
flinging ourselves into space, screaming sweet child o'mine.
music is our spiritual healing.
let us sing, let us sing to neptune and back!
there was silence.
and then there was love.

we caught a glimpse of heaven, we peeked into the black hole.
the stifling rubble with its fallen roof,
dripped the tears from the skies.
that cold air breathed into our universe,
where nothing else exists except for two hopeless souls,
creating a connection beyond words.
candles lit up, eyes and lips protrude,
hearts exposed, embraces inevitable.

sleep, chit thu.
close your eyes, i will be here to hold you.
i will hold your hand when we walk out,
cross bridges, fend off scorpions, drive trucks;
light up the path so snakes slide off, open your arms with me,
and sing, these melodies that dance in our minds,
together and honored ---
chit thu, do you remember the day we drove to the carpenter town?
the late night lepet, sitting on the bench with ba chit,
where he spoke fondly of your late father.
we are on the same boat.
i will swim with you.
i will keep you within me.
i will feed the fire we have created, until the end of time.

and when we come back to earth, recycled,
you will find me next to the river amongst water nymphs,
dancing freely with rosy cheeks in jeans,
carrying a basket of knowledge.
fate has already arranged all of this for us.
but don't we know it, didn't we know it since we first saw each other.
and of course, i will never forget the serenading planets,
on that very special full-moon night...
where one feels all of it, i mean, all of our pursuit,
in its purest form.

as we approach the final stretch, tugs kept pulling the shirt back.
humans that we are, reluctant to let go.
to let go of something splendid and sacred.
while we swung on RC, steamed cakes were served,
the electric bikes brought out, one by one,
they all saw it. they all saw it!
we laugh, we frown, we stare, we tickle, we yawn, we sigh,
and we always break into -
SMILE.
the rattan mat afternoon with guns and roses,
armed with bolehgyi, came an outpour of emotions.
emotions that had been hidden, in darkness.

it's not about stopping abruptly in front of a hole,
it's not about the boredom, the inert reality of this holy place.
it's not about the inability to stay in the light for too long,
it's not about the bickering at the salon, forgoing your hand and storming off.
it's simply painful to watch the car veer off the cliff and crash into the waves.
the waste, like all plastic bags dumped behind sites,
cringes follow. a sense of urgency hastens -
WAIT.

myo gi style? maybe it is i who don't understand, any of it.
lunches with auntie, doing laps with kaung li,
smoking cigars and chewing on betel nuts,
the showers outdoors; the endless chase after freedom, of humanity.
under those thanaka trees, buzzing while the sun rises on the horizon,
beyond the blue mountains, while the moon seems to hover above the water,
unwilling to go home... i understand. i understand all of it.
and there will be no judgement to be passed here.
just you and me.
you. and. me.

the return to an abandoned innocence.
this core, i am always searching for.
where could i find it, if not during these carefree months,
with a beautiful soul who inspired a certain fire within me,
and planted the seeds of faith in my heart.

ta-da naw.
ta-da chit thu.