Cry for me.
Cry for me like the barren tomb that is
your womb,
the mistakes you made,
the mistakes you didn't make,
leading you to this infinitely anti-bliss moment
where hand meets heart,
heart meets stone,
stone meets reality.
Cry for Me (Prose poem)
9 years ago by iamwoman (51)
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I would nix the lines "the mistakes you didn't make" and "stone meats reality." It might resonate more with the more visual words concise and left hanging and echoing in our heads. and replace anti-bliss with another word that gets faster to the point. the poem is short, so concise seems to be the goal here anyway. I love cry for my bones when I'm gone and every other line, obviously. Strong.
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Thanks for the critique and I'm glad you enjoyed most of it :)
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